The Agony of Waiting

We are all waiting for something or someone.

There is always a wait in progress; either in queues or for notification, our turn, people, results, events and so on.

Waiting can be easy or difficult, sometimes very difficult. Often, we cannot readily control the experience.

And in some situations, we never ultimately achieve any finality; there is no closure.

This can be excruciating, a mental torture.

The difficulties we experience depend upon the nature of the wait, its:

Importance or Seriousness
Urgency
Long-term Impact

Issues weighted heavily in these Three Criteria can be daunting.

Sometimes events are seemingly suspended over us like a sword of Damocles. The experience can be exhausting.

Some people seem more able to just suck it up, although most will inevitably just take on as much grief and frustration as they can bear.

And yet not all matters demand we adhere to some arbitrary schedule for resolution; we don’t always just have to wait. Issues can often be resolved more quickly than we initially realize.

It’s always wise to Question, Check and Ask. On some occasions we can push for those answers we really must have and deserve.

Waits can be a little easier if they are shared with others or if the outcome is relatively certain. But often this is not the case.

Most of us are not generally trained in the general art of waiting. There are many approaches; mostly revolving around self-distraction.

If the Wait is more painful, distraction must be more profound
It must also occupy you both physically and mentally

Some people cannot be that easily distracted; this depends upon their personality. A more intensely focused individual can find it almost impossible to be effectively distracted.

Others believe that the slightest lapse in their concentration bodes poorly for the desired outcome; they remain fixed within the process of waiting.

I am personally not good at waiting; never have been, though have learned to be somewhat better at finding relief through self-distraction.

Typically, Difficult Waits: Relationship Resolutions, Personal Job Decisions, Health Issues, Financial Matters etc. can all be tough when seemingly faced alone.

Less Difficult Waits are often shared events where others face similar outcomes: Exam Results, Transportation Problems, Broad Organizational changes etc. Sharing may mitigate the burden in many such cases.

Depending on the psyche of the individual involved sometimes even the simplest waiting events can be tough; especially when the Three Criteria (Importance / Urgency / Long-Term Impact) are heavily loaded and you feel alone.

The pain of someone suffering, waiting for news can often be eased by sharing; empathy alone can be a wonderful, palliative panacea.

Are you aware of someone else’s “waiting?” Ever reviewed how the Three Criteria are stacking up for them? How strong is their personal ability to muddle through this crisis?

Is there a way you can and should help ease their burden?

Perhaps you are grieving and struggling through your own waiting? Anything you should do to get some relief and ease the pain?

Sometimes simple / brief distractions are all that is required: Play games, Listen to music, Do simple chores, Run errands; anything to just pre-occupy and Stay Busy.

More profound distraction takes greater commitment to shake up the mindset: Visit new places, Engage in activities that demand attention and focus, Meet new people, Seek (safe) excitement, etc.

The key is to turn any PAINFUL Wait into the most PLEASANT DISTRACTION possible. And if at first you don’t succeed rethink, reset and try again with all the consideration you should afford.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

 

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