Ever make a seemingly simple request of a colleague or subordinate that went oh-so-wrong? And worse still, it actually created knock-on problems.

Ever respond to a verbal request from your boss only to be greeted by a “you did what” reaction? Similar events happen to us all.

The large majority of communications in our day are simple and oral. The sheer number of such interactions can sometimes mask the criticality and/or urgency of a request. It’s just so easy for things to go wrong.

I’ve personally used a simple trick to minimize such liabilities for many years. But before delving into this approach, consider why things can be misunderstood. Issues that corrupt verbal communications include:

• Language and cultural barriers
• Vocabulary
• Assumptions
• Completeness/Availability of information
• Training
• Education
• Ambiguities
• Conflicts
• Priorities
• etc.

The list seems endless.

Well, if there’s so much risk and it’s an important matter, why wouldn’t we just write it down; codify the request?

On many occasions this just doesn’t seem appropriate. It can even sometimes appear insulting to the recipient. And often, there just isn’t time or opportunity to literally spell it out.

What I’ve always done in these situations has become a way of life for me. I just repeat myself. It’s simple, effective, quick and when done with thought it can be a lifesaver andtruly considerate.

When you make that first request it’s a simple outline of your need. The Repeat clarifies what, when, extent and time involved as appropriate. Don’t belabor the Repeat, it’ll drive folks crazy. Be sure to rephrase and supplement when repeating yourself, yet remain as brief as possible.

Most importantly, the Repeat should give the listener the chance to verbally confirm theygot it and ask any immediate concern they might have; if necessary include how to reach you if they have further questions, later.

This whole methodology is hardly rocket science, yet proves itself much more reliable than just passing an obscure one-liner verbal request which is often subject to the vagaries (and more) of the list provided above.

This simple method applies universally in the workplace, outside, with friends and at home. Inasmuch, it has broad application and profound value.

Realistically you don’t want to be the person who always repeats himself/herself. It’s a dull and dreary label. But if you do this simple repetition with the aforementioned thoughts in mind and a pleasant tone in your voice, folks will learn to appreciate the effort and consideration you show.

Let’s face it; who wants you to send them on ambiguous errands with the high likelihood of receiving a failing grade!

After years of applying this trick I’ve found myself dodging a lot of unnecessary problems. More than this, I believe that not employing the technique is simply asking for trouble.

I developed a rule of thumb for repetition. It’s just a simple guide I like to remember. Basically:

 

If you state a request ONCE

you’re asking for trouble. The recipient is invariably blindsided with little time to orientate, think or ask questions. A one-shot request can often appear like an order; a little dictatorial. And of course, there is no engagement. Also, often too much or too little information is forced at one time.

You state TWICE

and you will avoid a lot of problems and frustration for yourself and the recipient of your request(s). You create an opportunity to briefly engage/discuss. This is an engagingapproach. However, if something CERTAINLY doesn’t need to be repeated, then DON’T.

State THREE times

and you’re asking to get labeled. Honestly, it does seem pretty mindless to routinely keep repeating yourself. The recipient might feel demeaned or untrusted, too.

If you state something FOUR times

there’s probably a spot for you in a Jerry Springer (or equivalent reality) daytime TV show!

 

Sometimes this ASK TWICE approach naturally unearths the fact that you’re making a request that’s more complex than can be done safely, verbally. Even if you’re in a hurry, accept it just won’t work and recognize you still have many alternatives:

• Stop and spell-out your request correctly and more completely, right then
• Say something like,” My mistake, this isn’t going to work this way; sorry, let me get back to you in a more reasonable manner.”
• Just pick/agree a time to review the request more closely.
• Etc.

The point is that when a request is ultimately not viable through a convenient verbal approach, accept that fact, pick another approach and save everyone the unnecessary pain of a likely-bad outcome.

So, just as I already said above:

Often, if you say it twice you will avoid a lot of problems and frustration for both yourself and the recipient of your request(s).

 

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh