Ever suffered through a nagging business or personal problem that gnaws that you?

Found yourself absently straying back to related issues to the point that anxiety level just keeps mounting?

Every now and again things just get out of control.

We’ve all been there. Humans commonly embrace such tortures; some chronically, many far too much.

The issue is how do we process and overcome these challenges in the least distressing way?

When such events overtake you, it truly feels like the end of the world. But, it isn’t. In the grand scheme of things traumatic occurrences are but passing unpleasantness and worrying serves little ultimate purpose. It’s best to simply remain impassionate, yet still methodically process events and changes away in a manner best serving your interests.

This is easier to say than do. So how do we proceed? Consider the following approach…

After each new upset (from incoming changes/news), just invest solely in time necessary to keep events going in the preferred direction available. This may take little or massive energy and need urgent or steady attention. Always do what must be done and when required.

The trick is to never give up on the most desirable outcome, ever, unless absolutely forced. Even then take care to morph existing situations and events toward the most preferential result possible. Remember that once an option/path is abandoned or neglected it often becomes almost impossible to recover that position later.

Letting go of that feeling in your gut can be achieved mentally. Focus on what needs to be done, do it and then relax till the next step/event occurs. If ever you start slipping toward an anxious state, randomly churning events, always first consider if there is a point that truly should be rethought. Give things a few moments to be sure there is nothing, and then cut off all pointless distress by focusing your time and energy elsewhere.

Such behavior doesn’t mean blanking out important factors. It means toning down the emotional intensity so it can’t permeate your whole life unnecessarily, accomplishing nothing but blurring your thinking. However, when that uncomfortable feeling actually is warning more careful thought is required, then think things through, unemotionally; confirm/adjust and then move on, again.

Legal and/or deeply personal events stick around and often cut us deeply. Similarly, all out-of-your-immediate-control situations are equally bad as they typically present no or few channels to make rational, speedy corrections and addresses. These things are painful for everyone to experience; they persist.

Do not let allow such things to dominate any more of your life and time than they must. Nothing is worth the distress.

The Xen of Self Discipline is “to eat when you eat.” The goal is to focus on one thing without distraction. Ultimately it is this which instills calm and brings clarity.

Strangely, we always learn a lot from disturbing experiences. Painful perhaps, but invariably valuable personal growth…. that which doesn’t kill me, etc.

So, when the worst comes to worst and you’re embroiled in such events, simply soldier on. Invest all the time and thought you must, but religiously take breaks to distract yourself, recharge your energies and preserve your ability to think crisply and effectively.

Great stress is commonly accompanied by health issues, both real and imagined. Breaks in routine, exercise and self-coddling can all help you regenerate. It’s essential you invest in and protect your health.

In the end, no matter the event, it will pass. Remember there’s always this certainty to lighten our load and help guide us through.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Most people are associated with entities which fulfill both innate and practical needs. Associations might be with:

People/ Celebrities

Organizations

Companies

Institutions

Events

Groups

Religious bodies

And, more

Such associations may be deliberate, while others are simply the result of either business involvements or lifestyle.

People have loose affiliations and also strong bonds which they actively promote and advertise.

We should care about these affiliations because in general, our associations are a significant part of how we are perceived and regarded.

So, specifically why might people create these ties and connections? It can be for any number of reasons. They might wish to:

Promote their Importance

Stimulate Business and Social Opportunities

Enjoy a sense of Belonging

Sustain their Self-Image

And, so on.

Certainly it’s been common for many to enhance their own personal profiles and agendas by joining prestigious clubs, attending the right schools, being seen with particular people, acquiring specific credentials, etc.

Historically, having a high profile, positive association is usually a business and social advantage.

But are all associations good? Not always; when tied closely with one group you can often be automatically excluded from another. Certainly, any particularly strong alignment inherently inhibits participation in counter-culture aligned functions.

What does an affiliation with a group or organization say about us? Most people would assume we:

Share Values

Have Common Thoughts & Ideas

Behave similarly

Help and Support one another

Share Culture

Enjoy similar Status

Are generally, birds of a feather

Yet there are affiliations that aren’t always what we’d prefer. Sometimes we have inadvertent ties that are not beneficial.

Imagine you have (say) lifelong friends that slip into criminal activity, are prone to lies and deceit, lapse into some level of alcoholism, or simply fall in social grace. You’ll find modifying your friendship roster as a result to be a profoundly difficult and personal matter.

Alternatively, maybe you’re no longer thrilled to be affiliated with your company’s name? It was once great, but now passé, considered too old-school. Perhaps almost the opposite is true: it originally had strong, time-honored values yet has morphed into an ultramodern conglomerate with decidedly sketchy principles.

Can similar undesirable circumstances such as these affect you and if so, how?

To begin, let me reiterate: our associations are a significant part of how we are perceived, regarded and as a consequence, often treated.

So here is the point of concern. Do you want to be tarred with the same brush as your friends and associates? Might you have affiliations that actually detract from who you are and how you wish to be considered?

Additionally, it’s unrealistic to believe that undesirable relationships can’t rub off on you personally. The longer an association continues the more likely there is to be a real convergence of attitude, culture and behavior.

And pretending (say) friends, colleagues and business associates of dubious character and bad practices can’t ultimately diminish your reputation is self-delusion. I believe some individuals are powerful enough to ride out such problematic alliances, but many are not. Which of these are you?

Perhaps you need new, better or just different people with whom to associate? Ideally, all your existing relationships are already suitable, pleasant and even advantageous.

However, it’s always worth taking a clinical look at who we are now and what we wish to become.

Hopefully you can already celebrate all your various relationships. But maybe some change and realignment is in order? Perhaps something new might aid your ambitions?

Ultimately, we are in large part a product of our associations and experiences. So be sure you are partnered, affiliated and networking appropriately.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Sometimes life presents us facts we just don’t want to hear.

It’s true in both our business and social lives.

Perhaps an essential Plan is massively compromised by new data? Maybe an expected Outcome doesn’t occur? It can be as simple as a personal perception is suddenly realized as being way off base. Life presents inconvenient truths.

Such realities can have major consequences or just be minor inconveniences. In most cases it’s essential we      The Three A’s.

Whatever is the new reality/truth/fact, our ability to realign our thinking (and/or action(s)) is a measure of our individual:

Maturity

Security, and

Intellect

It’s sometimes difficult to acknowledge when you (or others) are wrong, misguided or ill-informed. But if action is required any lack in response reflects poorly on us as Leaders and Individuals. And, inaction or delay may also have seriously undesirable consequences.

So, wherever it’s necessary, call out mistakes with appropriate ownership, sensitivity, pragmatism, visibility and humility. Then move on.

Problems seldom improve with time. Be certain to act urgently when required.

Inconvenient truths and occurrences are a fact of life. Just be sure to attend those important in YOUR world.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Every day we pass by precious nuggets of learning scattered all about us. It is these same treasures that grow and build our personal belief systems.

Lessons can emerge from our own experience, events affecting others and even media channels.

Sadly, we often overlook opportunities for self-enrichment. Yet it takes only moments to recognize what we’ve seen, reflect and systematically evolve our persona.

In the last few days alone I can readily define numerous such fleeting moments in my own life. They can serve to reinforce what is already known, reinvigorate understanding or truly expand awareness.

Clearly, new principles are unbelievably valuable. Whatever the case, consider these following recent observations that may have great relevance to you:

Effective leaders require knowledge, insight and successful application

Effective management is like conducting an orchestra

Time is most scarce when there are things to be done

No great idea is short on claimants

When I talk publically for an hour it takes two days to prepare; five minutes requires a week. If I must speak for hours, I’m ready now… derived, Winston Churchill

Much of what we speak comes easily, is accurate and on point. Yet credible codification requires significant effort

To see outwards clearly is uncommon, yet to look in, rare

Sometimes prolific output merely signals lack of alternative

An unreasonable request is one you’d never do yourself

Machiavelli is often considered unfairly. He’s simply a situational pragmatist

Team effort excels only when nurtured and considerately directed

Great leadership evolves from opportunity, capability and desire

These are all intriguing observations. And every day we each have innumerable opportunities for such insight. We choose whether our understanding is superficial or profound.

Sometimes we instantly grasp, digest and benefit from such observation. On other occasions we skip thoughtlessly towards our next engagements.

Have you been aware of such nuggets and opportunities in your recent past? Did you dwell on the significance, or simply move on? Did you truly understand the deeper meaning of that encounter?

It’s always worth taking time out from your day to reflect. However, I would not recommend dwelling obsessively on minor detail. But, it is certain that never taking sufficient time to benefit from exposure is foolish.

Such awareness is truly valuable and essential in business and fundamental to successful personal relationships. Further, it is a foundation for our growth.

So, if nothing else set aside a little private time to consider important events of the last hours and days. Perhaps looking further back in time may even yield profound personal insight?

If you have observations to offer akin to those above, please feel free to share. We all benefit from the insights of others.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

There are many simple beliefs we fall back upon to guide us through our professional and private lives.

We all try to keep things simple, so we can operate effectively. As a result we embrace favorite ideas, principles and core beliefs to guide us though.

Everyone develops and holds innate core beliefs, but not everyone builds on the same foundations.

Let me offer several collected thoughts I have regularly seen to be repeatedly relevant in business. In no particular order, they are:

• A leader owns all problems until guidance is complete

• A problem noticed is worth investigation. Repeated symptoms should cause alarm

• Winners sense danger early and react appropriately

• Relationships should begin with respect and support

• Listen often and actively to unearth opportunities

• Nobody learns until they are ready

• Demand honesty and integrity from all, just don’t rely on it from others

• Be hard on the problem, not the person. And, know the difference

• Everyone brings value if the right position exists

• Know your downstream options before venturing on a path

• Profoundly understand the nature of your business

• Look to Nature, Culture and Experiences to decipher interactions with others

• Always respect, check and leverage your instincts

• Support and sharing through adversity builds trust

Here are two more thoughts that were deliberately offered to me by others many years ago which I have always seen as profound and particularly worthy of careful consideration. They are:

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. (A well-known and almost homespun saying!)

Everything is important, just not awfully

We have all seen hundreds of such snippets over the years. Many prove to be variations on others, or often do not possess the insightful relevance of those listed above.

Here’s hoping these particular thoughts resonate you.

If you have a favorite you’d like to pass along, feel free to share.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

I’m a great believer in celebrations. They can be for large and small events. I like to keep them frequent and meaningful.

Business and life can be filled with drudgery. Taking time to acknowledge victories keeps things in perspective. Fortunately, upon close inspection even that routine daily work activity invariably yields many positives for celebration.

Leading and Managing in the workplace consumes us with solving problems and constructing scenarios. Individually, we may take positive feelings from these results, but that’s not always enough.

More public displays and celebration confers many powerful benefits:

• Teambuilding: Sharing, Mixing, Culture Molding…
• Reflection and Personal Growth
• Regeneration
• Morale uplift
• Individual Acknowledgment
• Practical Rewards
• and, more

These are all very positive results. And, it’s wise to actively seek out reasons to celebrate rather than stumble into belated demands for such action. It’s invariably better to be proactive and creative.

Generating a culture of acknowledgment and celebration offers pleasant distraction and reward. Again, just ensure selections are meaningful.

These same philosophies hold equally true in our private lives.

As with most good experiences there are risks and downsides. So now, let’s consider False Starts.

If you celebrate prematurely or unwisely and something goes wrong, it’s bad news. We’ve all seen such gut-wrenching incidents:

• A player inadvertently drops the ball in celebration, before crossing the goal line
• The salesperson brags of an order which ultimately fails to materialize
• A CEO prematurely promotes quarterly fiscal strength that then falls short of consequently inflated Expectation

And, so on.

Lists of such failures are endless and we can all relate many.

But, the real issue here is their consequences:

• Leaders appear foolish/imprudent/inept
• Trust is lost
• Reputations are damaged
• Practical Repercussions often follow
• and, more

Celebrations are generally of incremental value. Ironically, failed Celebrations often have more permanent, negative consequences.

The simple fact is we can almost always avoid such liabilities; just don’t ever pull the trigger on a celebration till it’s in the bag.

In practice, nothing is certain until the last link in the chain is truly secured. So, figure out what that link is, and wait. If you must err let it come from practicing too much patience.

Premature acknowledgment is one of those areas where small risks, however unlikely, can have great consequences. Realistically, if:

• The order isn’t in-hand, it might as well not exist
• A check isn’t cashed/deposited and recorded, you don’t have the funds
• Metaphorically, it’s not on the score-board, it hasn’t occurred
• and, so on

Specifically, if you don’t have in-hand a definitive expression of success/victory, then it’s too early to celebrate. And, remain aware that a celebration has begun the moment you acknowledge success in any form.

Some things take longer to reach fruition than we might recognize at first glance.

For example: We finish the installation of a complex, new software system. Let’s hold off the victory lap until trials or some proof-of-value completes successfully. This software may be a bust. And clearly, analogies to this scenario are endless.

Additionally, absolute success is often less well-defined when people are involved. In this event a victory is only confirmed when they say it is.

Lastly, be aware of colleagues inadvertently announcing victories on your behalf. A boss (say, or other person) prematurely flagging a success on your turf might be insensitive to liabilities. Practically, they might just simply need a win, be untouched personally by downstream hiccups and so more inclined to such premature and ill-advised announcement.

Don’t let this happen to you. If it’s too early to celebrate, then speak up. When appropriate mention the need to wait-and-see, or reference a milestone you recommend which determines success. And, once victory is clear, then own the celebration.

Ever been caught out by celebrating too early? Have you then needed to crawl away and facilitate damage control? A repaired victory is invariably tainted.

Always celebrate successes appropriately and whenever due. But, first be sure that results are definitive and proven rock-solid.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Nothing is free, not ever.

This is said without cynicism, but rather as a warning.

Everything has a price. Value is extracted from all gifts, goods, service, thoughts and even words offered. The only issue is the form it takes.

Often we hear of things that come for free, are offered freely, or free. On careful reflection none of this stands wholly true.

In business things added on or bundled for free, are already paid for or benefit the giver in some (usually, very) direct way. Buy this and you get this free. Typically, something given in this manner ties you to a path of action, extending the seller’s reach.

Engineers might claim a development approach brings some additional feature(s) for free. Invariably there is always some real additional creation, and/or maintenance cost. Sometimes this can be attractive.

Often love is given freely, without expectation. Yet at the meanest level there objectively is normally an expectation of reciprocation or practical return. And, the giving itself can be the great value sought by many people.

Again, this is offered as insight rather than trite expose of human behavior. A price or value is invariably extracted and attached. Isn’t this just human nature?

Free goods at retailers are paid for by someone or some entity. A famous commercial example is the free razor which is notoriously funded by a lifetime of your razor-blade purchases.

Sometimes business deals are sweetened by offers of reportedly free or discounted add-ons. If these are not already pre-funded by planned or existing purchases there can often be an expectation tied to goodwill, intended to influence your downstream behavior.

If you accept this overall reasoning, why does it matter, anyway? Might not this perspective just sour your view of the world?

Is there some emotional risk in believing that nothing is free, everything has a price? Not at all, if situations are always viewed with true detachment and objectivity.

It is perhaps much wiser to be guided by these principles in business and your life. Better to understand the reason, price and intent behind every apparent gift, than be unwittingly manipulated and sometimes used.

News is free, too. Yet I have rarely seen a news service where a specific perspective isn’t squarely represented within the text of the delivery. Have you?

Relationships are similarly influenced. They’re filled with expectations, unspoken demands and requests. If there is a tolerable symbiotic balance, what does it really matter? If not, watch out.

Take a good look around at those free things you receive. What are they? Do you recognize any unacceptable and unspoken costs? Are they worth their price?

Always remember, if you perceive anything to be truly free, you just haven’t looked closely enough.

Ultimately, we all have finite resources. So, you’d better check the prices you’re paying.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh