We live in a world of prolific communication. It does not matter what is your job or role in life, you ultimately interface with other people; in many cases, this can be the major part of what you do. So, when people don’t reply progress can come to a grinding halt and quickly!
Over the weekend I was talking with a frustrated manager who complained of an employee who’d “just sent an email with no additional follow-up.” I suppose the manager’s insight to the particular recipient suggested this basic communication just wouldn’t suffice and simply picking up the phone was appropriate. Likely this was a good solution in this instance, but it opens up the question Why don’t People Reply?
What we all really need is a good generic understanding of this lack of response and a few solid pointers of how to jumpstart the broken communication from the outset. As I search around I see Articles and Blogs offering ways to address issues specifically regarding email responses, or replies to texts and so on. Many pieces center upon the way a message is presented and the medium (email, text, tweet etc.) in which it is transmitted. Yet I believe the real issue often lies with the circumstance of the recipient and if this is better understood, our ability to secure rapid, interactive communications will be much improved.
At the 10,000 foot level it is easy to accept that people fail to act (reply) for one of three reasons. They:
- Don’t want to
- Don’t know how to
- Have become lazy; sometimes called the “fat Rep” syndrome
I’ve written about these factors previously, but in a different and specific context. So now let’s dig in a little further and consider generic circumstances that might be affecting the person from whom you desperately want to receive that reply. If we better understand their prevailing circumstances and operating behavior we will do a much better job when making our initial approach and in ultimately securing a reply. We can quickly identify that our recipient might be affected by (with no particular priority) these fifteen issues at the very outset of our approach:
Prevailing culture. Do they work in an environment where lack of response and poor accountability is routinely tolerated?
Management style/type. Is this an introverted person, inherently inward looking, not much interested in relationships and personal interactions? I have written about such personal characteristics previously, here.
Perceived importance. Although it may be important to you, the subject of your approach may have little importance to the recipient. Also, your style/presentation might leave something to be desired and worsen this perception.
Commitment to service/excellence. The individual simply does not value themselves by their level of professionalism, service to others or excellence in their responsiveness.
Sensitivity to others/situation. Your message might not adequately convey its importance, or instill motivation in the recipient. Perhaps they are just insensitive in this regard?
Medium. Your choice of medium for the approach might not be one to which the recipient is most responsive. You can communicate by email, telephone, voice message, text, Tweet or even FAX, etc. However, sometimes these messages just don’t arrive!
Habits. Perhaps this person only touches your chosen medium occasionally, or even never? They might not be voice message or telephone people; perhaps they only view emails every few days and yet operate real-time with texts?
Level of personal organization. Sadly, they might be a person who operates in chaos, only fights fires, rarely plans and so will only respond when something has become an emergency.
Current priorities. It may be that burning issues (offsite meetings, strategy sessions, quarter end activities, a personal holiday, etc.) currently have their attention.
Ignoring input. They just don’t like what you’re saying or how you say it and truly are ignoring you. Perhaps your approach is bad news or something that simply causes them problems?
Perceived urgency. Your message may be urgent to you, but not adequately positioned (or stated) to be so for the recipient.
Consequences of inaction. Perhaps they can be a little lazy, are overloaded or may be simply ignoring your approach as there are no resulting obvious negative consequences for them currently, or in their foreseeable future. It’s better to operate where and how people are motivated to engage and provide help, or you may be embarking on a losing cause, anyway!
Self-assurance. Just as you may be insecure about your approach to them, they may be equally nervous in their response. This is related to their Management Style, noted above (as indeed are many of the issues on this list).
Lack of information to report. Many times I have seen slow responders finally reply, saying,” I didn’t respond earlier because there was nothing to report.” This is often heard from more analytic folks, less sensitive to the needs of other personality types. I live in an engineering world and this behavior is really very common.
Internal consensus issues. The recipient holds off replying until internal discussions and/or consensus is achieved. It is unfortunate when they fail to acknowledge your approach and warn you of this need, accordingly.
Etc.
Well, clearly the list of reasons for not getting a reply can be numerous and, more than one of those items listed above might apply. So, before we even worry about getting that response we had better proactively structure our initial message to crisply capture the recipient’s attention and head off any of those issues that we know (or suspect) to be liabilities when we make the first approach. And, yes, allowing for these liabilities is much easier to do when you are re-engaging someone you already know, rather than making a cold approach to a new contact.
Importantly, we should carefully consider the medium in which this first approach is made. In some circumstances picking up the phone works wonders, in another a brief text requiring a short and immediate reply works well, or perhaps a well-structured email is essential to offer the level of professionalism and completeness for the approach? Sometimes a tandem approach is the best idea, as our manager colleague suggested (above) for her particular situation. Consider and choose carefully.
Alright, assuming we gave it our best thought, made our first approach and then there is no reply. What we do next? Let me offer a few quick, (un-prioritized) practical suggestions:
- Double them up at the outset. For example: If they are known (or suspected) as poor responders, then hit them with both an email and a voice message (or phone call) in your initial approach. Texts work wonders in these situations and can be used as a pointer to an email, too.
- Re-ping early and often. Don’t be shy; be prepared to resend your message several times if the urgency and importance warrants this behavior.
- Open a second communication channel. If the email (or, text/voice message/phone call, etc.) isn’t working, then experiment with other media.
- Appeal to professionalism/conscience. If it wasn’t built into your initial approach, then the very polite suggestion of an appeal to professionalism can sometimes move mountains and get replies from those who value their image. Be sure to tread lightly!
- State benefits to recipient. Perhaps the most important element of any communication is stating (or suggesting) the benefits to the recipient, up-front in your initial approach. If this still receives no reply, then carefully revisit those benefits, rephrase and feature them in subsequent communications. It’s easier to catch anyone’s attention by illuminating incentives they value.
I’ve read several articles where people suggest you should ultimately accept and give up gracefully when you just don’t seem able to get a reply. It’s true we should avoid crossing the line and becoming a pest, but first try improving your approach and follow-up as suggested above. Realistically, we typically approach people only when there is a real and reasonable need for their attention. As professionals we all deserve at least the level of responsiveness and support we are willing to provide to others. We earn it and we deserve it.
So, whenever and wherever appropriate, stand up for yourself and press on till you receive that reply and support you deserve!
Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh
