Everyone makes mistakes.

How you handle errors is what affects your career, personal credibility and self.

The first step is accepting your mistake. Surprisingly not everyone finds it easy to do this much. And here’s where the problems begin.

Much has been said about How To Apologize, appropriately.  But in reality, I’ve seen more significant relationship damage and personal harm done by those who simply just don’t accept their wrong.

Maybe it’s a personality trait or a willful disregard? Perhaps you’re running late? Maybe you’re just generally stubborn?  In any event if you fail to make that apology, the damage might never truly be undone.

By merely acknowledging your error you can actually Enhance Your Image as you:

• Prove you can see Others’ Perspective/Another View
• Show Magnanimity
• Demonstrate Empathy
• Exude Openness/Objectivity/Professionalism
• Share your Humanity
• Move forward in addressing Corrective Action and Self-Development

A simple act of acknowledgment helps in establishing these characteristics in your makeup; the absence of recognition does just the opposite.

With acknowledgement, you also avoid giving out perceived messages of:

• Self-importance
• Lack of Objectivity/being one eyed
• Intended Ill-will
• Perfectionism/always right
• Aloofness
• Inept Leadership
• Poor communications
• Lack of sensitivity, etc.

These are all serious consequences and will harm you in any relationship.

Let’s face it if you can’t see your part in an error/problem you really have an issue. Perhaps you have many issues?

Just acknowledging an error is an opportunity towards better understanding your real self.

Well-respected leaders can accept when they are wrong. It’s typically just part of the reason they are well, respected.

Once you’ve seen your mistake, you should quickly move to an appropriate apology as/if required. This doesn’t mean throwing yourself on a sword. Sometimes a few words are needed privately; in others an acknowledgment in a more open forum is appropriate.

If you need to apologize be sure to address the matter with:

• Essential and Affected People/Person present
• Timely Acknowledgment
• Required Seriousness and Urgency
• Brevity (it’s not a drawn-out confession)
• Acknowledgment of Consequences from error
• Empathy/Human Touch
• Unqualified Acknowledgment of the Other Perspective (if there is one)
• Professionalism
• An outline of Corrective Action
• Above all, Say you’re Sorry (with appropriate decorum)

Within themselves most errors are not the end of the world. However, many errors can grow dramatically in significance if not acknowledged (their emotional impact), or are covered up (where both the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal and Nixon/Watergate events are examples).

Being too small or petty to admit when you’re wrong can and will come back to haunt you. By definition, you then truly have real issues to resolve. Additionally, your standing and image can only suffer.

These same issues play out in the workplace, interpersonal relationships, in marriages and throughout our lives. So, be the bigger person. Learn to read and own the consequences of your words, actions and inactions.

Have you been in the wrong recently? Blown off any apologies you owed? Failed to be sufficiently honest or open in your acknowledgments of fault?

It’s never too late to right a wrong. And after all, the more fairly you treat others the more you’re just helping yourself, anyway!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

We’ve all done it.

You’re working with best intentions, yet you screw up. You drop the ball and hand a disaster to a top customer.

Having the best systems and procedures in the world is the ideal solution, but let’s be realistic. Even then problems can arise.

Yet this doesn’t need to be a relationship terminator. If handled carefully you can restore confidence and even grow your credibility and business.

Consider the case of Roger, a director at a smallish company supplying products to one of the world’s largest producers of mobile electronic devices.

The first run of Roger’s new product critical to the customers own product launch crashed during prototyping. The sensitivity to customer service was high and (premature) calls to immediately alert the customer actually needed to be headed off; just momentarily. After all, the customer needed to know both the problem and his options rather than just hear only the bad news.

Within hours an internal team led by Roger met and came up with robust contingency plans and the means to make-work the current prototype. The full story and a complete solution were available and presented to the customer in a telephone conference before the end of that same day.

Roger’s company is small and feisty so had to work hard to beat-out bigger suppliers for the original contract. Yet despite this setback, their customer’s reactions and ultimate follow-up was surprisingly positive; even following such a nasty supply problem.

The customer was not pleased about the initial problem, but the well-thought-out primary and backup plans went into place and both panned-out sufficiently well. Not only had the damage being largely repaired, but the relationship had prospered.

The results were more orders for future products and a business that grew annually thereafter.

So what happened?

Basically, this large customer both valued and respected the service they received from Roger. They already knew a larger supplier would often not be so nimble and quickly supportive when problems occurred. Importantly, they now also knew they could depend on Roger’s company when there were issues.

There are always problems. No matter how excellent your systems there can be hiccups, screw-ups and oversights. The issue is how you respond.

Roger’s experience is a great lesson. Flawless service is ideal, but problems still occur. When they occur you can grow your relationships and trust by great recovery and support. After the dust settles (and assuming your hiccups in service aren’t too numerous!) you can actually be in a better relationship position with your customer.

It’s in the fires of great troubles that strong relationships and trust are forged.

So what should you do when you realize you’ve caused problems? Try this process if several people need to be involved to explore solutions:

Notify all internal people involved/those who can help

Gather facts and data

Define and assemble a Team that can best get a solution

Brainstorm best Solutions and Alternatives from available facts/data

Quickly document best Plan for customer presentation

When you develop your Plan build in the variability the customer may need. They will often see problems invisible from your side, so be sure you know clearly how you can vary and manage the solutions you offer.

Above all, be sure to notify the customer as early as possible. Ideally you present the Plan and alternatives fully laid out, but you can’t wait forever for a solution. It’s sometimes better to get together with the customer showing a robust outline of facts and action in progress than wait so long that problem impacts might worsen. Notification timing is critical, but remains a case-by-case call.

When you first engage the customer ensure the human element is present. Be mindful of the problem(s) you’ve caused, but be sure they see sincere:

Concern

Ownership and Commitment

Support

                  Flexibility

Openness and Objectivity and most importantly, your…

Plan options

When you close this contact ask if there’s anything else they require and establish open communication means and channels. Have them confirm they have heard all they need. Don’t expect any bouquets or thanks just yet!

After this, you work through the problem; the whole problem (and its repercussions) till it’s cleared. When all the problems are cleaned-up, you should close with a personal touch (dinner, lunch, coffee or a call) as this should only enhance your perceived commitment. The goal is to ensure closure, acknowledge wrongs, confirm corrective actions and move on, professionally.

Solving problems and preparing unintentional damage does not always go smoothly. These are frequently emotional situations often heaped on people who need no further burdens.

So, your empathy, patience, diligence and practical support in getting the best solution can serve to strengthen the relationship. Work to both fix the problem and enhance the relationship. Use the unfortunate problem as an opportunity and work for the best outcome from the outset.

Have you burned customers in the past? Did you just see downstream business erode as a result?

If you have customers in any form, eventually you will likely cause them problems. The trick is how respond. Why not grow your relationship and business as you plan and execute your response?

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Finding out you’re undervalued in some way is one of the more sickening events a professional can experience.

Most of your waking hours are in the workplace. Realizing the effort you put out and the things you accomplish are underpaid can be heartbreaking and certainly demotivating.

Worse still is realizing colleagues and coworkers you support (and sometimes even guide or lead) are valued relatively better for their efforts; it’s hard to take.

For many reasons, not all people love their jobs, but being underpaid just adds insult to injury.

If you’ve found yourself in such a situation, you need to act. It’s now your responsibility to get it fixed.

Consider the following situations:

Pam was six years out of school and had never changed jobs. She had taken on extra tasks and projects for the last two years, so she approached her boss and asked about the possibility of a raise. It turns out a 15% raise was in order and it was quickly granted!

Pam had simply fallen behind in pay as no extra pay-bumps had been given at all in her company for job changes and increased responsibilities in recent years. Last year there had been a 3% max increase allowed for everyone and in the year before that there were no raises for anyone at all.

The next case is Richard, 15 years out of school and all with the same company.

Although not his Employer’s problem, Richard had two young children and his wife was temporarily at home; they were struggling with a new house and commute. His company had minimized increases since 2008 when the recession hit. He’d only seen 2-5% raises in recent years, despite two more promotions in the last four years and increased job responsibilities as his company became competitively challenged in the downturn.

Richard knew the landscape. A raise would be tough to come by. When he spoke with his boss no increase was on the table and he was regaled with tales of small-company woes.

As a result, he met up with their growing competitor and within two months he was working for them with a 22% increase. They understood his value and could not pass on his skills and service.

Next there is Stan, a strong contributor 3.5 years out of a top University with a BA and 4.0 GPA. He’d been forced to change jobs late in his first year when the young startup he was with closed their doors. After a tough six-month search he landed a new job above entry-level in a more stable and growing startup. Following this came two years of token (typ. 2-3%) raises for everyone in the company.

Stan could see that the top new hires the company brought in recently had been getting rapidly increasing entry-level salaries. Now it was clear that a>12% raise was clearly in order. He’d been taken care of with additional stock awards, but cash had fallen behind. When he spoke with his boss he got his raise and of course, his stock position was already solid.

These stories all seem so different, but are remarkably similar. Each person benefited from:

• Understanding the company and competitive landscapes
• Developing a compelling argument, and
• Making a professional and rational approach

You should always know the internal/external competitive pay situation for your role and experience. If nothing else, you should make a cursory annual effort to update your knowledge. Markets and opportunities can move suddenly, so if your skills are valuable, you should avoid falling too far behind.

Most of us can make a couple of internal sanity checks or approach relevant colleagues, re: salary rates. The outside market is often posted and easier to research.

The goal is to be treated fairly, whether you’re a senior, superstar Exec. or an entry-level individual contributor. Also, be sure you value your role, work and company and never get emotional about pay-data you turn up; if discoveries seem wrong or alarming, check and verify.

When you’ve done your research, have realistically evaluated your current role and built a logical argument, then you’re ready to approach your boss.

Pick the time wisely. Approaching someone during a high-stress period or without adequate discussion time is never wise. Your approach is everything. So, be polite, clear, professional and relaxed.

Should your (inadequately researched?) expectations prove to be genuinely out-of-line or flawed, then a professional and mature approach should not harm your situation. A relaxed and thoughtful discussion between boss and worker can even enhance your standing. However, you should always carefully confirm your facts and be very well-prepared.

Times have been tough for many professionals in the last 5-6 years. Is your pay/work situation under control? Have you even checked, recently?

Falling behind where you believe you should be on the pay-scale is never wise. Recovery can sometimes take years and can even potentially diminish your perceived value and affect career progress.

So, take a look at your personal situation and like everything else: Research, Plan and then Act accordingly. Happy hunting!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Ever walk into an important F2F and just know right away you’re out-of-sync with your counterpart?

The problems can stem from anywhere. You’re dressed business formal, he/she’s ultra-casual, there’s a major age gap, business styles are worlds apart, you’re punctual and he/she is, well, late and the list goes on.

If this meeting matters to you and your role’s more subordinate, you’ll be scrambling to repair these first impressions, from the get-go. Quite likely, you’ll fail.

Let’s face it, if you’re selling something (yourself, product etc.) you need rapport. Being in-sync is crucial. And unfortunately, such real alignment has many facets and associated liabilities.

So, before you attend a F2F on an issue that really matters to you, recognize it’s not just about looking and being your best. Yes, you do need to present your best side, but it must be aligned and synchronized to the needs of the other party.

Again, before you meet you should have researched the style of the person  and company with whom you’ll meet. Most of the gaffs above should be proactively avoided. But, do it honestly. Keep faith with who you are as a professional and a person.

If you’re a little more formal and it’s an ultra-casual environment, dress down a little. You may not need to pull out the flip-flops; most solid professionals should recognize and value the diversity of others. Always be on-time, but unemotionally except the flexibility in schedules and informality in meetings that your counterpart may exhibit. Such behavior may not reflect their professional regard.

Once you’re settled for discussion, you should consider this tip for quickly building rapport. You need to get on the same page as your counterpart: Mirroring is a great way to succeed.

Mirroring  is about reflecting the movements and body position of the person with whom you need to develop empathy. This is not about copying to the point of detectable mimicry (and risk of insult); it’s about making the person comfortable and creating synergy and rapport.

When people assume similar body positions, their feelings and emotions tend to align and be similar. If someone positions one way, do the same. Nod to show your attention to their words and do so in their rhythm; convey appropriate facial expressions. Allow them their speaking opportunities and respectfully insert your own words and comments.

The adoption of like body positions, facial nuances and hand gestures is powerful. So copy and be bold.

I have personally used this technique and have often heard it reported as being successfully employed by others. Certainly, why would ultimately flattering, across-the-board, empathetic behavior be anything but attractive to the recipient?

The only warning is to pursue your actions with a sincere desire for alignment and rapport. Practice beforehand. It works really well for most every 1-on-1 situation. Again, just avoid anything that could be taken as, or indeed is insincere mimicry. And, if ever you feel you’re overdoing things, simply back off.

When you get the opportunity to observe friends or colleagues known for their ability to relate strongly to others and create a great first impression, look at what they do. You’ll find it very closely resembles the descriptions above.

I’ve personally found this approach to work well and it’s helped me get many relationships off on the right foot. Sometimes it’s shocking just how much mirroring is necessary, acceptable and helpful to align with my counterpart in a meeting. This speaks to how much effort is really needed to build rapport and become a (supposed) natural, in doing so.

Rapport and Empathy is about the other person. Demonstrate this and you’re half way (or more) home in making your case and establishing a position.

I should also mention: Yup, of course this works for social and dating settings, too.

How well do you relate to others? Often seem to get off on the wrong foot at those critical meetings? Think you should just do better in general?

If so, take a look at the simple practices outlined above. Maybe you’re next important F2F meeting can be better prepared to secure that outcome you desire!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

I really don’t like it when I can’t get answers. Who does?

It’s especially frustrating when you’ve already made it easy for folks to reply with a yes/no answer or just a trivial update.

We all understand that our priorities aren’t the same for everyone else. But, isn’t it reasonable to expect the same level of professional courtesy we willingly and regularly extend to others?

We live in a world of prolific communication. It doesn’t matter what is your job or role in life, you ultimately interface with other people; in many cases, this can be the major part of what you do. So, when people don’t reply progress can come to a grinding halt and quickly!

Over the weekend I was talking with a frustrated manager who complained of an employee who’d “just sent an email with no additional follow-up.” I suppose the manager’s insight into the particular recipient suggested this basic communication just wasn’t going to be enough; picking up the phone was an obvious supplemental requirement. Likely this was a good solution in this instance, but it opens the question: Why don’t People Reply?

What we all really need is a good generic understanding of this lack of response and a few solid pointers of how to jumpstart the broken communication from the outset. As I search around I see Articles and Blogs offering ways to address issues specifically regarding email responses, or replies to texts and so on.

Many recommendations center upon the way a message is presented and the medium (email, text, tweet etc.) in which it is transmitted. Yet I believe the real issue often lies with the circumstance of the recipient and when this is better understood, our ability to secure rapid, interactive communications are much improved.

At the 10,000 foot level it is easy to accept that people fail to act (reply) for one of three reasons. They:

• Don’t want to
• Don’t know how to
• Have become lazy; sometimes called the “fat Rep” syndrome

I’ve written about these factors previously, but in a different and specific context. So now let’s dig in a little further and consider generic circumstances that might be affecting the person from whom you desperately want that reply. If we better understand their prevailing circumstances and operating behavior we will do a much better job when making our initial approach and in ultimately securing that reply.

We can quickly identify that our recipient might be affected by (with no particular priority) these fifteen issues at the very outset of our approach:

Prevailing culture. Do they work in an environment where lack of response and poor accountability is routinely tolerated?

Management style/type. Is this an introverted person, inherently inward looking, not much interested in relationships and personal interactions? I have written about such personal characteristics previously, here.

Perceived importance. Although it may be important to you, the subject of your approach may have little importance to the recipient. Also, your style/presentation might leave something to be desired and worsen this perception.

Commitment to service/excellence. The individual simply does not value themselves by their level of professionalism, service to others or excellence in their responsiveness.

Sensitivity to others/situation. Your message might not adequately convey its importance, or instill motivation in the recipient. Perhaps they are just insensitive in this regard?

Medium. Your choice of medium for the approach might not be one to which the recipient is most responsive. You can communicate by email, telephone, voice message, text, Tweet or even FAX, etc. However, sometimes these messages just don’t arrive!

Habits. Perhaps this person only touches your chosen medium occasionally, or even never? They might not be voice message or telephone people; perhaps they only view emails every few days and yet operate real-time with texts?

Level of personal organization. Sadly, they might be a person who operates in chaos, only fights fires, rarely plans and so will only respond when something has become an emergency.

Current priorities. It may be that burning issues (offsite meetings, strategy sessions, quarter end activities, a personal holiday, etc.) currently have their attention.

Ignoring input. They just don’t like what you’re saying or how you say it and truly are ignoring you. Perhaps your approach is bad news or something that simply causes them problems?

Perceived urgency. Your message may be urgent to you, but not adequately positioned (or stated) to be so for the recipient.

Consequences of inaction. Perhaps they can be a little lazy, are overloaded or may be simply ignoring your approach as there are no resulting obvious negative consequences for them currently, or in their foreseeable future. It’s better to operate where and how people are motivated to engage and provide help, or you may be embarking on a losing cause, anyway!

Self-assurance. Just as you may be insecure about your approach to them, they may be equally nervous in their response. This is related to their Management Style, noted above (as indeed are many of the issues on this list).

Lack of information to report. Many times I have seen slow responders finally reply, saying,” I didn’t respond earlier because there was nothing to report.” This is often heard from more analytic folks, less sensitive to the needs of other personality types. I live in an engineering world and this behavior is really very common.

Internal consensus issues. The recipient holds off replying until internal discussions and/or consensus is achieved. It is unfortunate when they fail to acknowledge your approach and warn you of this need, accordingly.

Etc.

Well, clearly the list of reasons for not getting a reply can be numerous. And, more than one of those items listed above might apply. So, before we even worry about getting that response we had better proactively structure our initial message to crisply capture the recipient’s attention and head off any of those issues that we know (or suspect) to be liabilities when we make the first approach. Also, allowing for these liabilities is much easier to do when you are re-engaging someone you already know, rather than making a cold approach to a new contact.

Importantly, we should carefully consider the medium in which this first approach is made. In some circumstances picking up the phone works wonders, in another a brief text requiring a short and immediate reply works well, or perhaps a well-structured email is essential to offer the level of professionalism and completeness for the approach? Sometimes a tandem approach is the best idea, as our manager colleague suggested (above) for her particular situation. Consider and choose carefully.

Alright, assuming we gave it our best thought, made our first approach and then there is no reply. What we do next? Let me offer a few quick, (un-prioritized) practical suggestions:

1. Double them up at the outset. For example: If they are known (or suspected) as poor responders, then hit them with both an email and a voice message (or phone call) in your initial approach. Texts work wonders in these situations and can be used as a pointer to an email, too.
2. Re-ping early and often. Don’t be shy; be prepared to resend your message several times if the urgency and importance warrants this behavior.
3. Open a second communication channel. If the email (or, text/voice message/phone call, etc.) isn’t working, then experiment with other media.
4. Appeal to professionalism/conscience. If it wasn’t built into your initial approach, then the very polite suggestion of an appeal to professionalism can sometimes move mountains and get replies from those who value their image. Be sure to tread lightly!
5. State benefits to recipient. Perhaps the most important element of any communication is stating (or suggesting) the benefits to the recipient, up-front in your initial approach. If this still receives no reply, then carefully revisit those benefits, rephrase and feature them in subsequent communications. It’s easier to catch anyone’s attention by illuminating incentives they value.

I’ve read several articles where people suggest you should ultimately accept and give up gracefully when you just don’t seem able to get a reply. Not so. It’s true we should avoid crossing the line and becoming a pest, but first try improving your approach and follow-up as suggested above.

Realistically, we typically approach people only when there is a real and reasonable need for their attention. As professionals we all deserve at least the level of responsiveness and support we are willing to provide to others. We earn it and we deserve it.

So, whenever and wherever appropriate, stand up for yourself and press on till you receive the reply and support you deserve!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Life and business move quickly and there’s never enough time. Yet, I’ve never met anyone who didn’t need to improve their efficiency and, a lot.

At the same time I don’t recall ever meeting anyone who didn’t think that overall they are pretty efficient. Maybe sometimes they’ll confess to procrastinate a little, but ultimately they are solid, work hard and get things done.

So, my observations don’t match people’s self-assessments.

Now, I could accept my judgment may be off a little, but frankly (and to be kind) the weaknesses I see are pretty blatant. There is no exceptional observation skill involved on my part. Here’s an example case:

Like many folks I spent a recent evening watching Hockey at a playoff party. Late during this event I was noticed and then approached by an experienced management professional who opened with, “About effective management…” This is generally never a good introduction for me to any discussion (sigh), but fortunately this proceeded quite well, as we supported the same team!

It seems my new acquaintance is a senior and successful management professional who works long hours and felt he had little more to learn in developing his own skills. Again, he was particularly convinced that his time management skills are par excellence and this was the root of all his and most others’ career success. Note: throughout this Blog we are specifically talking about personal time management.

Now, I would agree that time management is a very critical skill in almost every management role. However, it is one of many. The set of skills one must develop for any job (and their specific priority) should be determined by the unique needs of that particular position. More than this, no matter how good any expert feels they are within in their field of greatest strength, they can always improve. Even world-class authorities constantly practice, study and evolve.

Time management is a commonplace element in people’s lives where simple improvements can massively enhance effectiveness and productivity. Hence our obsession with “One minute this” and “Five minute that!” Yet how many managers (or individual contributors) have actually sat down, studied and invested in their ability to maximize the effective use of their time? And, of those that have, how many have followed up and implemented important changes? I have not met many.

My personal experience has been that as I either evolved in a particular position or was promoted to another, I was still able to make significant improvements in my own effectiveness if I periodically reviewed my time management practices. Something that does remain relatively constant is the process and method by which time is best managed:

• Plan time and actions. Simple action item lists ensure you “check off” the positive results of each day and spend a few minutes planning the next.
• Focus. Learn to do one thing at a time; be very Zen like and “eat when you eat!”
• Manage your energy. Healthy regimens are a must in diet and exercise, but recognize if you are ultimately a “morning,” “afternoon” or “evening” person with respect to your highest productivity and adapt accordingly.
• Avoid time wasting elements. Work when you work and relegate entertainments to breaks or private downtime.
• Leverage technology. Increasing arrays of tools are available that range from hands-free headsets, through speech-to-text software to mobile phones for use during (convenient and safe) periods of travel.
• Manage your mental health. The simple rule: don’t worry; just plan and act. Avoid negative elements and nonessential entanglements, recognize and celebrate what you achieve and simply re-plan missed goals to ensure success. Actively balance and separate your business and private lives.

Following such a regimen really requires self-discipline. Despite the simplicity of this process I have rarely seen anyone that routinely and effectively follows this simple method.

I believe that adhering to such discipline would remove the obvious stress and struggle we see in many individuals, be they managers, individual contributors or even folks not within the traditional work-force! So, how well do you practice these principles?

As for my new acquaintance from the Hockey party, he freely acknowledged he neither Plans time and actions (uses no simple Action Item list(s)), nor actively Manages mental health (not enough quality family time). And, I have seen this exact scenario in many other professionals.

Although my new friend requested I didn’t use his name, he thanked me for a recommendation and happily OK’d his mention in my blog. I wasn’t initially too pleased with him repeatedly referring to me as “the Management Dear Abby,” but on reflection (and as this wasn’t the first time I’d heard exactly this, before), I’ll take it as a compliment!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

The first step in developing ourselves is to better understand who we are. What is this clay
we wish to mold?

For me it’s so much easier to look at someone else and make insightful observations. I’m sure it’s the same for most of us. Often we can read who people are, their skills, strengths, weaknesses, needs and goals. And yet, we’re slow to look in the mirror and make those same ready assessments of ourselves. Often we are our own greatest mysteries.

Yet it can be easy to break through and get on track. We see the best example of how to proceed often clearly visible in the workplace.

Whenever I see a company investing in a new or even experienced manager, their training and development invariably begins with a class in understanding management styles. The obvious place to start, even if you are going it alone with your own, proactive self-development!

Basically, exposure to this insight provides you an introduction to recognizing your own personality traits and the diverse range of other types of personalities and styles you can encounter in the workplace. Understanding yourself and how you relate to others is fundamental to self-development. It is the base from which we can evolve into the future.

So how do we get this insight? Let me provide a summary of this learning process. Here’s the outline of the program you should look for:

Sometimes relevant learning materials have different titles (such as interpersonal relationships, interpersonal communications, managing diverse personality types (or variations, thereof), but under any name they will show you how to categorize different personality types and better understand how to work with their diversity. For our purposes here we will call this subject, understanding your management style.

Having skill in this area is not only fundamental to a successful management career, but to everyone in any walk-of-life. Much of the information available on the subject is not usually ideally self-administered by reading books. In fact my personal experience suggests that established and aspiring managers and self-developers are best advised to attend courses on the subject to best learn and practice the skill.

There are online facilities that allow you to get a profile of your personality type; some even help identify and analyze problem characters with whom you work. This is a great beginning, but my own experience shows that dedicated time set aside to reflect on your own management/personal style and study the range of other types with professional guidance, will normally secure a more profound lifelong grasp of the subject area. So, what’s involved in upgrading your skill in this area?

Typically, any training begins by:

• Completing forms and Questionnaires. The first step is usually for you to fill out an extensive evaluation which enables the scientific analysis of your style and behaviors. Usually, several colleagues (most typically 4) also contribute to the process by completing questionnaires about observations and interactions they have had with you. Often you will additionally submit a review of your interactions with “a problem person” (this will come up later).

After all this information is analyzed you are off to a training class where you:

• Review the results. This is self-explanatory. A large number of people have made exhaustive investments in characterizing the diverse management styles of people. You will be introduced to all the types your particular expert categorizes and told which one you are. Important note: no type is bad, rather they’re all different and generally exhibit different strengths and weaknesses. Having good skill, or versatility in working with these different styles, reflects your expertise!

• Understand your own management style. Now you have a defined (or codified) style you can spend time studying its traits and tendencies. As a result, your self-awareness of strengths and weaknesses are inevitably improved!

• Understand the variety of other personality types. Next, you learn the details of the various personality styles you can expect to encounter in the workplace. At this point, you are keenly aware of the amazing diversity and needs of the people with whom you will work during your career. This knowledge is often excitingly enlightening and invariably surprising!

• Review how your style relates to others. Once you’ve identified your own style and the diversity in others you can explore how to adapt your behavior to best communicate with these different types. You will learn how to modify your behavior and better relate to the style and needs of others. Again, your flexibility in adapting to and communicating with colleagues will be key to your development as a manager and a person.

• Work on a problem or example case. I mentioned (above) that many courses want you to submit an example of a problem interpersonal relationship you have currently. At this point you’re typically given the characterization of this person’s style and can use this as a working example for practicing the skills you have now studied and developed. If nothing else, you can walk away with an improved knowledge of how to deal with this particular individual.

That’s about it! Much is to be learned from such a course and it is typically a great investment of anyone’s time. I see many people go to such classes, all of which follow much the same basic outline described above. Never once have I heard attendees complain that it was a waste of their time. On the contrary, they usually sing the praises of the investment they’ve made and speak proudly of their improved awareness.

Are you well skilled in this area? Do you understand your management style and how it relates to others? Clearly, the benefits to your general self-improvement and professional career are obvious.

Have you ever attended such a course or reviewed related material? If not, I recommend you make the investment and enjoy the huge advantage of understanding you own basic style; become that stronger communicator, better able to relate to others and get results!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

At some time or other, everybody in the workplace gets anxious. For any number of diverse reasons we get stressed out; we get a knot in our stomachs.

You’re aware your judgment might not be 100%. You feel you’d better watch what you say, or even keep your thoughts to yourself.

It doesn’t matter if the stressor was outside of work or waiting for you on arrival. It’s on your plate, not going away and now you have to manage your way through.

Personally, I’ve always used stressors as spurs to drive me on and intensify my thoughts and action. But sometimes, maybe just once in a while, things get a little too intense and it’s time to back off and take stock.

Over time I have seen people deal with these problems in many different ways.  For myself, there was always one trick I could use that got me back in balance and on track:

Cool-down Mode. Here you just simplify all work activity and focus upon only one thing at a time. It’s very Zen-like. You can keep working as usual and be very productive. The trick is to stop your mind multitasking and address only one issue. It is this focus that reduces stress levels and allows you to re-assimilate.

You can still have action item (AI) lists to complete during the day, but as you prepare the list, think only of the list. If you’re interrupted when working, put the current action aside (both physically and mentally) and focus now only upon the interruption until you can return to that AI. You must be disciplined and singular in focus. Keep your thoughts methodical, quiet and steady.

Operating in cool-down mode can go on for days or sometimes even weeks. Do whatever it takes to get you feeling right. This is also a good time to catch up on projects or individual work assignments if you have that opportunity.

Certainly, this approach works for me, but everyone is different. So, here are some other effective approaches you might consider:

Take a Break. Take a holiday or long weekend away from the stressor. You must be 100% out of your regular routine and away from troubling issues. Its better these breaks are low stress events and do not involve emotionally intense engagements. Again, slow, quiet and steady is the best path.

Try an Outlet. New or old pastimes/hobbies and activities are often great diversions. Try something where you have no time to think about what makes you anxious or angry. You might use this as either the short-term release you need now, or adopt it to provide a longer-term balance within your lifestyle.

Emotional Release. Sometimes you just have to let it out. It can be tears or arguments for some and physical exertion for others. If it reduces the stress and anxiety-levels, use it. Just be sure all consideration is shown to others in the process! Even after this, working through the Cool-down Mode might still hold benefits for your rested, new self.

Avoid Pause Activity. Don’t waste time doing things that merely delay (or, Pause) your feelings: Internet searches, TV viewing and watching movies etc. can fall into this category. It can be useful to delay, but ideally you must ultimately understand and address the root causes for your stress.

As a minimum, you should find ways to successfully adapt your lifestyle and work habits in a way that ensures you can become productive, happy and content.

Reassess Priorities and Plan. This could be done while you are on a break or operating in Cool-down Mode. In either case, it should only be undertaken after that stressful feeling has been diminished. It’s always better to plan with a clear head and refreshed mind.

So, now is the time for self-assessment. You need to consider if your stress was brought on by:

• Short-term problems.

Do you just need to back-off your intensity and schedule for a while? Are there events that will naturally settle down and be less a problem shortly, anyway? Are there specific issues you should address and resolve? If so, you can just manage the current pressure with some of the ideas suggested above and then later, return to your regular (or modified) lifestyle and work.

If this is not the case, are there:

• Lifestyle issues.

If you’re in a place where priorities and career are not what you want, you may need to reconsider your job, work habits and lifestyle outside of the workplace.

If your work/life balance is off, then at least you are fully aware what isn’t working. At worst, this is a good place to start! So, maybe it’s time to write down your priorities. Consider what it is you want:

• To be as a person, now
• To become in the future
• Enjoy in relationships
• Experience in life
• Accomplish in your career

Describe what you want and be sure to write it down. Next, make a Plan of how you will adapt your current course. If you’re unable to do this and your current path makes you unhappy, stressed or anxious, it may time to get some real (career, or other) counsel.

So, what matters to you? Maybe you already really like who you are and what you’re doing. Perhaps the Cool-down Mode lets you catch your breath and enthusiastically reengage your current lifestyle. It works for me.

Whatever it is you want, be sure you don’t routinely operate with that knot in your stomach. True, it can be a useful, occasional stimulus, but it’s ultimately unhealthy  and keeps you from being at your best. Besides, you deserve better.

Good luck finding your niche. Just make sure you dare to consider alternative paths. And, if you need to make changes, make them!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

No matter where you work you’re likely looking at problems and issues that make life just plain miserable. It can be broken systems, outdated methods or even just bad situations.  You can see the problem, maybe even the solution, but you just don’t know how to get it addressed.

If you want to take action yet don’t know how to push your agenda, then read on. Whether you’re a senior executive or individual contributor you’ll need to consider these pointers.

Why might you need to report a problem or present an idea? Issues and concerns can stem from a variety of sources:

• Well-known Problem. Everyone knows about this and yet it remains.
• Observed Issue. You noticed it yourself.
• Reported Issue. This was told to you by someone else.

Be really certain anything you want to flag is worth fixing. Its correction should have a real return-on-investment (ROI) and/or benefits to morale.

Who you are will affect your entire plan-of-attack. Are you senior or junior in the organization? Also, what do you wield in terms of:

• Personal Power. The measure of your established credibility and influence in the organization by virtue of the skills you have and value you bring.
• Positional Power. Your influence in the organization by virtue of your title.

Be realistic about your influence around the organization. If in doubt, check with a trusted colleague. Who you are directly affects your choices on all the following pointers.

When things are flagged can often be important. Not everything has to be flagged immediately. In fact, sometimes problems are better highlighted later because:

• There are Bigger Issues In-Play right now. You don’t want either yourself or your idea to be an untimely and inconvenient distraction
• It may be Too early to Address the matter. Some things just become more important, later.

Although it’s often better to get problems lined-up and visible ASAP for future action, sometimes it’s wiser to wait for important events that make your issue more obviously compelling (yet still timely!). Carefully assess when issues should be brought forward. If in doubt, work privately and early-on with a relevant, trusted colleague or mentor to make that assessment.

Mentors are often great guides to help you with all these pointers.

What type of idea or concern you have will affect how you proceed. What is your intention and what do you want to happen? Perhaps you want to:

• Highlight. Maybe you only need to point out there is a problem?
• Make a General Recommendation. Here you might want to make less comprehensive suggestions, recommendations and/or observations
• Present a Proposal. In this case you have a specific and more detailed proposal or plan about what should be done and how.

In some cases pointing out a problem is all the involvement and value you need to have. At other times you might be wiser to go all-in with a plan and hands-on activity.

To Who you present your ideas can determine the interest level that follows. A heavy-hand and too elevated an approach can be a turnoff in some situations, yet at other times this is exactly what is required to establish support and attention. Your approach might begin through:

• Informal channels. Perhaps you open up your campaign using a casual discussion with a relevant colleague or another manager having useful influence.
• The formal chain of command. Maybe you should just tell your boss?
• A group/team/committee. Your entrée here might be through discussion or entail a more formal recommendation and/or proposal.

Even though you might open your campaign at a low level and with simple discussion, it’s likely to move to more organized presentations and senior forums as acceptance gains momentum or is secured.

How you present your ideas can also impact the interest level that follows. It’s important to choose the medium most likely to increase acceptance and support beyond whatever level you have already established. Your approach might be:

• Verbal. Promotion of your ideas will often begin with a discussion between yourself and a relevant colleague/manager. Even as acceptance and support grows there may be need for new or on-going discussions to further the cause.
• Email. Often a good opening to present your case. Be sure not to overwhelm the reader with too much content, nor be so brief as to omit critical points and information. Get the right balance for the situation.
• Presentation. Often a useful ice-breaker. And sometimes the deal-closer. As with the email, don’t either over or underwhelm the recipients relative to their current level of acceptance and your goal(s) for the meeting.
• A Report (informal). A written outline not containing a full plan-of-action or recommendations.
• A Report (formal). The whole enchilada describing the issue, what to do, why and recommendations. Best not to deliver this until folks are primed to buy-in and take action.

So, these are the critical things to consider. Balance and approach are your keys to success.

Do you have ideas or concerns you want to put forward? Need to get people to listen and act? Have you hesitated to move and ignored problems because you were unsure what to do? If so, consider the pointers above and plan how to proceed. When you take action to improve the workplace, you also elevate your own value and reputation!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

The moment someone sets eyes on you they begin forming strong and broad-based opinions about who you are. It happens in seconds. And more, they’ll likely spend the rest of their time with you confirming their first impression.

The truth is humans are prolific rationalization machines. It’s normal for us to jump to opinions and selectively reinforce our first impressions.

Psychologists, Behaviorists, Anthropologists all tell us we each communicate through highly evolved body-language which is a part of our personalized repertoire of nonverbal behavior. Also, there is an inherent need for us to evaluate and assess new people quickly. After all, we are a very successful part of the animal kingdom and so possess great, innate survival instincts!

In a social setting, we perhaps sometimes get a slightly better break when people first assess us. Maybe those new contacts are more relaxed, have more time, or are even fundamentally more open in their evaluations. However, in the work environment introductions often happen quickly and inaccurate judgments can easily have undesirable consequences.

Let’s say someone walks into a room or lobby and you are waiting to meet them for the first time. Whether you like it or not you are immediately inundating them with signals and they are drinking them in.

With a glance lasting only moments and following a brief initial introduction, this person will instinctively assess your:

Appearance

                  Facial Expressions

                  Stance

                  Posture

                  Movements

                  Voice

                  Dress

                  Behavior

                  Support of cultural norms

It would be better if the image we present really represents who we are. Certainly it takes an awful lot to undo this first impression.

Given this knowledge we can actively make a choice to either accurately reveal who we are, or even conceal things we don’t want to expose.

So, with general awareness of this reality, it comes as no surprise that much has been published about Dressing for Success, following Greeting Protocols and Conveying a Positive Body Image (etc.) in the workplace.

On first reflection this whole situation seems unbelievably superficial. After all, we are complex creatures, possessing:

Diverse Talents and Skills

Unique Qualifications and Experience

Values

Strengths

Weaknesses

Beliefs                 

Personalized Motivations and Circumstances

Etc.

Yet people will normally lock in on their first, instant impressions. All your subsequent messages (conscious, unconscious, verbal or physical) may be ignored or accepted depending on the recipient’s flexibility, expertise, curiosity and even available time.

These are tough facts to swallow if you’re on a date, in an interview, being evaluated or even investigated in some way.

I remember when I played sports (rugby in my case) as a young man. Certainly I prided myself on being able to glance at an opponent and assess his skills in seconds; even recognizing diverse tendencies for exceptional movement, speed or strength. I knew what to watch out for and it served me well. Was my excellent observation nothing more than the universally obvious, anyway? Hard to know, but I still stubbornly believe in my great talents in making these reads, even today!

It can be easy to view this form of communication as somewhat unimportant. Yet this could not be more untrue. If we want to convey who we are, what we think and our ideas, then body language is crucial. Our smallest movements and actions instill mental states and reactions in others.

High profile personalities, actors and politicians all recognize this opportunity and manipulate their bodies to convey their messages.

If you’re up for an important meeting, why wouldn’t you pay the same attention to these details? Practicing gestures and the body language you want, you can more readily convey the information and impression you desire. Even more, by installing such body language as part of your repertoire you can actually move towards becoming that person you portray and want to be.

It is said that within the first 3-7 seconds (apparently, even these reported, very short times can vary!) you can tell how someone feels about themselves. Their facial expressions, stance and the way they move offer messages about mood, feelings, attitudes, emotions and much more.

It is better to control such powerful communication the way we choose. Why send a set of misleading (perhaps even damaging) messages to someone you meet that don’t accurately reflect who you are or what you believe? Don’t we all often make this very mistake?

Do you have an important meeting on the horizon where you want to instantly convey the best image of yourself? If you do, then better you spend a little time thinking about that moment of initial contact; those first few seconds really do count!

FOOTNOTE: There are 5 Articles linked from within the body of this BLOG, above. Each LINK provides you excellent guidance regarding actions you can take to present the most positive body-language possible in many different “first impression” situations you might encounter.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh