When it really matters, you choose your mood. At some level, everybody does.

We put on the face/front for that meeting, party or social event. We are already choosing our demeanor.

And, given a level of commitment and practice we can similarly start, or reset each day to the tone we’d most prefer.

Rather than drag ourselves out of bed and run into the turmoil of the day we can set ourselves up for a happy daily entre and even recover crisply from (seemingly inevitable) emergent setbacks.

Most folks carry around their personal, “bucket of troubles.” It seems we all choose how many woes and problems we’ll take on.

Some carry larger buckets than others; that’s a choice. And then, we allow those buckets to fill till they spill over. Only in this way do we limit what we take on.

By analogy, the larger the bucket, the heavier is the load. The weight (burden) is determined by what we are prepared to accept.

What if we simply chose not to allow deposits into that bucket? Just shrug things off (responsibly), don’t let them weigh in immediately and only fully embrace troubles when we choose.

Simply put, take on the issue later when preferred and only drop a note to address the problem into the bucket, for now. (SIDE NOTE: truly immediate issues are just that, so act accordingly. But, most things are not).

This doesn’t mean we ignore problems, concerns or issues. It does mean we should not burden ourselves with unknowns until we’re ready to focus.

Such an approach is truly Zen-like. We should “eat when we eat,” just attending to that of immediate concern to us. In this case, it is the simple, need-to-address–later note.

This unburdens us nicely. No rapid-fill of that bucket.

We might even soon learn to reduce that bucket’s size as our skills develop. Why leave room to potentially unnecessarily burden ourselves with things we often can’t address till later, anyway?

Buckets weigh us down. Similarly, balloons can buoy us up. So why not carry a few of those around?

Happy thoughts, good news all serve to lighten our footsteps.

We begin each day with a host of blessings to enjoy. Our relationships, work, family, friends, even possessions can boost happiness, enjoyment and self-worth.

So, reflect on a few of these positives to start each day and renew yourself throughout. Carry a few happy balloons around and offset the weight of that essential bucket.

Realistically, we cannot expect to exist in a bed of roses on a flat, stable and worry-free plane. Yet too much volatility in our ups and downs is ultimately wearing, dulls our judgement, exhausts the ability to enjoy life and often harms our health.

Daily routines and encounters can be a grind. Things can wear on us and beat us down.

Life is not all smiles, happiness and positive events. It’s pretty tough for everyone. We need to both reduce our burdens and lighten our steps. So, a handful of balloons and a less substantial bucket can serve us well.

How is life wearing on you? Need to downsize that bucket and lighten the load?

Make life more enjoyable: every morning grab a few balloons, choose a smaller bucket and enthusiastically greet the coming day.

I’ve always personally enjoyed mental exercises and games.  They can be great time fillers, keep you alert and in the moment. I believe they offer some level of personal improvement and improve mental acuity.

It turns out the research and writing around this subject area offers some useful additions to my personal perceptions.

A whole industry surrounds the training of the brain. It’s generally accepted that improvements can be made in personal function for Flexibility, Speed, Memory, Problem Solving, Learning Power etc. Progress can be measured on these fronts and dozens of exercises and games can be readily found in books or on-line.

Healthy lifestyle advocates promote Brain Fitness, which includes Proper Nutrition, Sleep, Physical Exercise and Stress Management.

Similarly, it’s accepted that cognitive skills are harmed by Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Aging, Air Pollution and internal Chemical Imbalance (both hormonal and drug induced).

Cognitive Training (aka Brain Fitness) promotes the idea that skills can be developed or maintained by exercising the brain in much the same way physical condition is improved by body exercise.

Scientific material rarely supports or advertises the concept of brain fitness, but personal development materials have promoted the idea with products and books since the 1980’s.

In practice, mental exercises can have measurable benefits; even more so the lower the starting base of the trainee. Any way you look at it, you can improve your brain function to some degree by practicing and training appropriately.

There’s recent evidence that mental training leads to a decrease (33% reported) in the risk of dementia onset. And, training children for academic improvement only appears to have benefits where the specific training is obviously and directly applicable to the specific area of study involved.

So, there is no silver bullet here where one approach fits all needs.

Certainly, some games and puzzles are fun and I personally enjoy a sense of accomplishment taking on new challenges and becoming more skilled and proficient over time.

Many people turn to outlets such as Crossword Puzzles, Sudoku, Solitaire, Bridge, etc. as a more productive use of otherwise dead time. It’s common to see people engaged in such activities in waiting areas, when travelling etc., even where other (such as TV) entertainment is present.

There is undoubtedly an increasing cultural search for alternative occupations that often more directly physically engage and personally challenge us. And there is a huge proliferation of available options.

Whatever our reasons for doing a little personalized brain-training (or self-entertainment), it typically provides us an enhanced sense of accomplishment and is usually a lot more fun than the other immediately available choices.

So, as another alternative suggestion, let me offer you a brain teaser to consider over time. You may solve this in a few minutes or be working on it many weeks from now. Either way, consider this…

There are twelve (12) natives stranded on an otherwise deserted Island.

Eleven (11) of the natives are the same weight, but one (1) weighs slightly less (or more) than the others.

Also, on the island is a see-saw (teeter-totter) that you may use in your investigations, but only three (3) times.

Your challenge is to discover which Islander has the different weight AND if that weight is more or less than the other eleven Islanders.

End of Challenge.

Whatever your predilection for cognitive development, let me recommend its benefits to both your practical personal development and self-esteem. Wishing you the best on your chosen path!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

I was sitting at the dinner table during a recent event listening to people’s tales of their lives, relationships and work-related activities. It was a full-spectrum gathering.

When later reflecting on this occasion and myriad other recent and past daily interactions I again became starkly aware just how self-flattering individuals can be and what delusional façades most people will present.

In fact, I believe most folks are frighteningly self-delusional when reporting insights to their lives.

This is not surprising, as in practice, self-confidence is closely linked to self-deception, self-delusion and success.

Indeed, to quote…

“…, people in positions of great authority are, and perhaps must be, capable of enormously high levels of self-delusion.” (Health-care Hypocrites, Paul Campos, 3/22/10).

And, the Definition : Self-Delusion (Noun)…

The act or state of deceiving or deluding oneself.

The common scientific belief today is that most people lie to themselves; this done to aid them in considering themselves above average and to help them justify even their unjustifiable actions.

Relatedly and ironically, I suspect many of us attempting to present a truly realistic, unbiased opinion have, at one time or another been criticized as being negative or pessimistic. It appears a more rose-colored account of events is usually better appreciated, too; upon reflection, a very troubling reality.

Oddly, it seems that self-delusion is necessary. One writer (Fine) even mentions that a group of individuals truly capable of seeing reality as it is are the clinically depressed.

So, it appears most of us actually need to delude ourselves to make life bearable. This is a disturbing dynamic and a frightening insight to our suppressed, internal views.

People typically resent being referred to as delusional. It is normally perceived as a human flaw.

Yet, given the apparent role of self-delusion in stabilizing our psyche, perhaps it should be considered an asset?

It is true that great shows of bloated self-importance can be ugly to hear, but they are also just a sad measure of, and insight to, an individual’s insecurities.

In any event, the next time you catch yourself or others making enhanced or exaggerated claims, empathize a little. Sometimes it can be wiser to understand and accept the underlying challenge and then just move on.

Unfortunately, on some occasions it is appropriate or even essential to set the record straight with deluded individuals. This is often better done privately, but perhaps sometimes damaging falsehoods must be challenged immediately and publicly. In either situation, be as discreet and sensitive as circumstance warrants.

The stark daily realities we all face can often prove extremely harsh unless portrayed through a biased, tinted lens. So, if such assertions truly do no harm at the time, let the self-deluded enjoy their peace of mind behind that colored glass. Gracefully allow people their space to feel important or avoid their unnecessary embarrassment.

Have you noticed the self-delusion of others? Perhaps you recently caught yourself making exaggerated claims? Take a look behind those stories. It’s amazing the sensitivities and insecurities that come to light.

Above all, don’t fear those delusions. They’re often what’s keeping us grounded and balanced.

Every day we rise, step into the day and interact with others. The people we meet can be colleagues, clients, friends, family or casual acquaintances.

And, our dealings with others are profoundly influenced by their (and our own) intricate personalities and foibles. So, in this regard, which human characteristics might give us cause for concern?

Well, I believe most people to be generally insecure. In fact, I have found that many are very insecure.

Is there really great significance to these observations? Does this significantly affect our interactions with others? Might Insecurity profoundly influence the outcome for many of our dealings?

I believe the answer to all these questions is a resounding yes.

So, it is important we can recognize Insecurity in all its forms.

Indeed our ability to spot this human characteristic empowers us in dealing with others. We are better able to adjust and manage the situations we encounter.

To better understand the nature of Insecurity, consider the following (not prioritized) collection of insights:

Secure Human is an oxymoron.

Humans are petty, frightened, Insecure Creatures.

People are amalgams of insecurities invisible to the Self without Introspection.

All Bad Behavior is based in Insecurity.

Were it not for Insecurity we could not justify our Bad Behavior.

Others would feel less Inferior were we not Insecure.

Self-Importance grows with Insecurity.

Real Self-Confidence is inversely proportional to Insecurity.

Watching someone Control their Insecurities is like watching a balloon squeeze.

Insecurity inflates the Self.

The Showcasing of Accomplishments increases with Insecurity.

Acceptability declines as Insecurity grows.

Boastful Humility is symptomatic of Insecurity.

The need to Control Others grows with Insecurity.

Insecurity drives Importance to Diminish others.

These pointers better help us identify when insecurity is in-play.

Our first step should be to recognize our own insecurities. It’s not easy to do, but the more self-aware we become the more readily we recognize tell-tale behaviors in others.

Ever consider where such issues are already affecting your relationships and dealings? Further, where might they be affected in the future?

I recommend you take a close look at potentially problematic situations and even those that might already seem fixed or established. The better your ability to identify what factors are in-play and then make appropriate adjustments, the more success you’ll achieve in your business and private lives.

Enjoy the investigation. It’s amazing what you’ll uncover.