Most of us want to progress at work and socially. Some are more driven than others.

Certainly, promotion and recognition bring benefits we all usually value and enjoy.

Being good at what we do is a critical component in becoming successful.

But advancement requires more. We must also avoid bringing negatives to the table which torpedo our opportunities and detract from our worthiness.

Being a strong candidate often demands a broad, multi-faceted and proven skill-set. Correspondingly, our personal accompanying detractors might be subtle or obvious, diverse and numerous.

And rightly or wrongly, extremes and perceived cultural aberrations we exhibit are often just not appreciated or wanted.

So, to be selected and succeed we must simultaneously avoid DESELECTION. Simple detractors can scupper the strongest candidate.

When we recognize our liabilities, we must repair or at least diminish their significance in the eyes of selectors.

If we don’t know what these issues are, we can seek insights from trusted friends and colleagues. So, ask.

And it is not always the obvious flaw(s) that might derail our cause, it’s the one(s) that in some way offend or dissuade the individual decision maker(s).

In addition, selections are often influenced by more persons, history and circumstances than meet the eye. Practically we can usually only recognize and address the more obvious and likely concerns.

So what behaviors and attributes might we exhibit or display that could cause us problems? Consider rectifying or improving negative characteristics you exhibit regarding:

Clothing

Personal Hygiene

Sloppiness… correctness, quality and timeliness

Tardiness

Untidiness… disorganization

Physical Appearance

Procrastination

Gossiping

Politicizing, Backstabbing and Spitefulness

Body Language… Dumb Insolence

Complaining

Active Obstinacy… Resistance

Prejudice… Fixed Opinion and Bias

Too Much / Little Enthusiasm

Lack of Empathy

Treating Others Unfairly

Exerting Undue Influence

Inappropriate Actions / Behavior

Unsavory Habits

Attitude of Superiority… Pretentiousness

Ingratiating Behavior

Unpopular Associations

Being Too Loud, or Seeming Invisible

Acting Too Clever, or Appearing Dull

Being Self Not Team-Centric

Quite a daunting, unprioritized list. It’s sufficiently extensive and complete for our purpose here.

I have personally seen individuals who have unwittingly held themselves back by exhibiting some and (often) many of these characteristics. Likely you have, too.

At one time or another everybody exhibits some or several of these tendencies; most noticeably when they are stressed.

So not surprisingly, when people are being considered for selection, reviewers and selectors must often turn a blind-eye (if they can) to less obtrusive shortcomings, or perhaps diplomatically review their concerns with candidates ahead of any planned promotion. Major concerns are not generally ignored.

When our liabilities are known to us (as future candidates), we should understand which are likely to present the most negative impact to our prospects. If it’s not obvious, ask those you trust.

Many of the problems listed above have simple intuitive remedies. Some require real fixes to the psyche.

If you care enough you will find the ways to at least diminish the outward impact and visibility of your most egregious weaknesses. So, determine the Corrective Action and follow up.

And don’t forget, these very same detractors you carry into the workplace often similarly affect all your relationships and interactions with others; in social settings and the home.

Are you aware of your negative behaviors? Do your personal foibles lessen your prospects and relationships?

We can often identify liabilities in ourselves. When we cannot, we should find someone trustworthy and ASK.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

Most of us like to help others. It’s practically useful, solves problems and usually makes us feel good about ourselves.

Yet help isn’t always beneficial. Consider…

Sometimes poor assistance or advice is rendered that either exacerbates problems or even creates issues.

And perhaps too much help is proffered.

How might there be too much assistance?

Maybe the support is overkill; a little guidance or direction is all that’s required, and the beneficiary wants nothing more.

In some cases, the old adage fits well: “Give someone a fish and you provide a meal, teach them to fish and they can feed themselves for life.”

Guiding and assisting is often all that’s needed. This can sometimes be counter to the emotional needs of providers who often want to show off their skills and be seen to solve problems; often they need to control, too.

If someone is self-sufficient then guidance and direction is usually all that is wanted. However, should they be in some way actually incapacitated then (diplomatically) completing the job for them can indeed be appropriate.

Intervening too much means exercising unnecessary and unwanted control that inhibits an individual’s independence while diminishing their sense of self-reliance.

So, can we offer help and consequentially do more harm than good? Yes indeed.

Imagine a young child needing to develop specific skills, self-sufficiency and confidence. It seems they would often be candidates for the guidance and direction approach in non-urgent, less serious situations where their long-term development can benefit.

Correspondingly, a Doctor would normally provide a comprehensive fix to patients; a specific and complete solution is typically required. Perhaps this is complemented with longer-term maintenance instruction and guidance.

Diverse types of problems require different levels and methods of assistance. And this affected further by the make-up and skills of the recipient and provider, circumstance and timing.

Consider next the highly analogous area of mental health…

Every human has a unique, distinct personality and psyche.

Individuals are created and/or defined by their DNA, experiences, culture and position. Normally their outward behavior is affected and determined by any combination of these elements.

So typically, they can sometimes have problems as a result. These may be minor, or significant and prominent displays, subject to situational stimulus… some things bring out the worst in people.

And these problems attract helpers.

So what type of help should be rendered? Is this a case of providing a fish or offering a lesson in the art of fishing?

The same basic principles apply.

Teaching awareness and guidance is a great first step. Independent and self-aware individuals might hopefully thrive from just this.

It is only the truly impaired that require more profound and continuous support.

And here is the mental health dilemma…

When is enough, enough? Are we sometimes in danger of overkill with excessive or protracted help; perhaps creating needless dependencies and providing crutches when we should not?

Must not the goal always be to establish self-sufficiency though awareness inherent in the support we provide?

Certainly, many people can benefit from the professional help provided by Mentors, Counsellors or Therapists. To some these services and support are essential.

But is strength, awareness and independence sometimes better fostered for the long-term by occasional influence, rather than prolonged exposure?

Are you reaching out and helping others? Is the way you lend assistance best suited to the recipient?

Is someone lending you a hand? Are you growing and becoming the self-sufficient individual you want to be?

Look at the help you both render and receive. Make sure things are on-track and thoughtfully aligned with the recipient’s best interests in mind.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

I believe the most important skill we might possess is our Adaptability.

Everything moves on.

Humans evolved through being Hunter-Gatherers to Farmers, then to Consumers of produce into industrialized Participants. These are huge transitions and changes.

If we fail to Adapt, we miss the benefits of improvements that any change might bring.

It is essential we move on in practical matters that benefit everyday life.

The principal holds true for our physical well-being. New remedies, treatments and understanding constantly emerge; we should naturally embrace any true advantages we encounter.

And this equally applies to our mental health.

There is a constant barrage of change in our personal lives. People lose loved ones, gain others, both suffer and thrive. Change is simultaneously constant and transient.

Yet Adaptability varies by individual pre-disposition. And we are each uniquely defined in this regard by our genetic makeup, DNA, circumstance, experiences, position, culture and environment.

So, some individuals are considerably more able to ADAPT than others.

Failure to Adapt can result in outcomes ranging from Fortuitous to Inconsequential through to Catastrophically Fatal.

It is better we recognize a NEED for Change and rationally choose the level to which we respond.

Reacting prematurely or excessively can be as great a liability as a lack of awareness. Similarly, the opposite is true where Urgent Action is essential.

Some of us are good at recognizing warning signs. Others remain oblivious to the very same signals.

Certainly, more Introverted Individuals appear at greater risk than those who are Outwardly Focused on potentially threatening and changing external circumstances.

Both events and situation that should cause concern constantly surround us: we are inundated at Work, in the Home and our Private Lives. And this continues throughout our lifespan.

So, our Ability to Adapt may be critical, but this is of little use if our Sense of Urgency or Danger is weak or impaired. Thus, a keen awareness of this liability is usually an essential complement to Adaptability.

But again, being ABLE to ADAPT remains of paramount importance, even when we are slow to understand the NEED to do so.

Do you recognize the Changes currently occurring in your life? They are there; you only need look. Are events trending in a direction or at a rate that will cause you problems SOONER, or maybe LATER?

Change features in every aspect of our lives.

Take the trouble to Recognize, Consider and ADAPT. And, in an appropriately timely fashion.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

To be Human is to have experienced Abuse.

Whether Victim or Protagonist all our lives are touched by Abuse.

Regardless of our cultures or demographic we have witnessed or experienced its barbs albeit to greater or lesser extent; it occurs as either Mental, Physical Harm or Neglect.

By Classical DEFINITION: Abuse – use (something) to bad effect or bad purpose; misuse.

With such blatantly common and prevalent presence, you would think we should all be well-versed and aware in our understanding of associated phenomena? Perhaps we might have been weaned with solid personal comprehension or at least received some basic formal education to affect our awareness and aid in self-protection? But none of this is true.

Rather Abuse is hidden, and events are often unspoken. The result is that social mechanisms provide cover, allow perpetuation and can even effect escalation.

As a Primer, consider these useful pointers regarding Abuse. These are SOME of its features about which everyone needs to (and should) be aware:

• The Susceptibility of a victim determines the extent to which they are affected by Abuse.

• Susceptibility is a greater or lesser product of an individual’s genetic makeup, intellect, culture, experience, position and the exposures that establish their personality.

• Damage from Abuse is not solely what is done to someone, but what is taken away.

• Dispensing Abuse is teaching abusiveness.

• Most Abuse is about Control. And Bad Behavior is rooted in Insecurity.

• Abuse crosses generations, touching close and distant acquaintances alike.

• Unimpeded Abusive Behavior normally becomes entrenched and often escalates.

• Chains of Abuse are best (and sometimes only) broken by profound dislocation and dissociation.

• Opportunity stimulates Abusive actions.

• Victims typically Blame themselves.

• Victims often Protect Abusers.

• Victims are not readily restored nor often made whole.

• Abuse is behavior or circumstance that diminishes quality of life or peace of mind for another, whether intentional or not.

• Abuse is sticky, being more likely reinforced to grow than fully removed.

None of these points (above) are expounded upon or explained by example. Their presentation is styled to afford reflection and personal awareness.

If you search your past there are instances of both Abuse and Abusiveness. Can you find yourself as both Protagonist and Victim? We each have our peccadillos, propensities and secrets.

The challenge is to recognize, accept and then act to achieve what your better part should wish for (both self and) all those people you affect.

Only the most determined efforts and meaningful breaks from established practice, habits and environments enable us to change things for the better.

Is there a path you would prefer?

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

When we look around our lives, the workplace and family we’re surrounded by prolific achievers through modest accomplishers and minor change artists, along to those who simply choose stagnation; the entire range of human endeavor.

However, the world is moved by action and those that initiate and make changes.

There are those who are prolific in this regard, seemingly constantly having an effect, making a difference.

But certainly not everyone behaves this way. Many abhor change and seek the status quo. Change is often uncomfortable and makes many fearful.

Others talk of change and what they plan yet do little or nothing towards achieving these ends. Sometimes they seem paralyzed; often considered as talkers not doers.

Not everyone wants change. Some thrive upon its turmoil, others hide away and address only those issues they must.

New situations can be driven by irresistible forces outside our control (social, climatic, disease, political, seasonal, etc.) but many are driven by people with whom we interact. We can make personal adjustments to address effects and impacts upon us from both.

It seems that those who initiate change and strive to impact their own and other’s worlds often live what are regarded or termed full lives.

To many this may be enviable, to others something to be avoided at all cost. After all, to some such prominence and action implies risk.

But being your own Master (/Mistress) over tides of change seems preferable to becoming the flotsam they carry.

In the last decade much has been written and theorized about those who Procrastinate. Certainly, one would think such perceived prevarication impedes an individual’s ability to drive change and novelty.

But Procrastinators can sometimes be highly productive, once direction is set and inevitable they are freed to act.

And Procrastinators are known to often be highly intelligent and capable.

It remains currently theorized that their behavior is driven by three factors:

• Fear of Failure  
• Fear of Success
• Paralysis of Perfectionism

Procrastination has even been linked to psychological disorders:

• Depression
• Low Self-Esteem
• ADHD and more

Most recent theory characterizes the brain as being hard-wired in such ways that they who procrastinate are considered to simply to have poor connections between (and in) the part of the brain that Considers and that which enables Action. It seems intuitively likely this would leave people locked into inaction.

Given the diversity of expert opinion on the subject we are free to choose from theories that best suit our personal perspective, observations and appears most likely.

Certainly, procrastination is a behavior that is often aligned with inaction, rather than doing.

And we can perhaps gain insight about Doers by reviewing these perspectives (above)…

For instance, if someone will take charge of their own and other’s future they are far less likely to be strongly burdened by Fears of Failure, or Success. And anyone demonstrating a prolific output is unlikely to be Paralyzed by Perfectionism.

I am a strong believer that people should take all initiative possible and self-determine their futures and life-styles.

I also believe we should take great care to understand how our actions (and inactions) will influence the behavior of others.

It is not realistic to assume that a strong Leadership Quality (of Doing) will reside in everyone. Our societies and populations are clearly biased towards a dominant mix of Followers.

A society heavily populated by dominant Leaders would be short-lived. We have accordingly evolved to a balanced mix of subordination in our populations; this is more comfortable, less stressful and easier to control.

In practical purposes this means most social groups are in-bred to go with the flow. However, this general homogeneity can diminish the individual’s life and fuel a sense of being unfulfilled.

It seems where something important to us (dreams, goals, ambition etc.) is going unserved and fading away, we’d be wise to quickly recognize/accept the loss and the underlying reason.

If we can repair a weakness or address a fear, then maybe we should.

Look at your own dreams and goals. Are they slipping away?

Maybe a friend, professional or loved-one can illuminate your loss?

Perhaps you can see your own underlying inhibition or fear and can suppress your misgivings? Certainly, you already know the rewards.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

The Human Experience involves us each living unique lives, exposed to diverse encounters, factors and events.

Yet there are universal themes and issues within our exposure(s) that are common to us all. For Example, we each Emerge from family groups, Interact with others in the population and Learn.

Some thrive from their experiences, others fail. Most have mixed results.

How well we fare can easily be affected by basic training, or pro-active exposure.

But how are we normally prepared in practice to address the life challenges we will encounter?

One might suppose it to be in the home. Adults immerse children in their prevailing Culture, Values and Perspectives as they see fit.

Certainly, this is a hit-and-miss process; dependent on the skills, intellect, commitment and awareness of the adults involved. This, plus the overwhelming expectation(s) of the culture in-play.

So, from the earliest age we are fated to deal with generic (and predictable) classes of problems but are each armed quite differently.

And all this occurs during formative development.

Predictably we get a rich diversity of personalities emerging from these early years.

At one stage these individuals may be moldable clay but ultimately will inevitably become largely fixed in Personality, View and Beliefs.

This is the whole, “give me a child until (s)he is seven and I will show you the (wo)man,” scenario and theory (a la Aristotle).

The specific age by, or strength to which an individual might be cast is not the point in this Blog.

The issue is WHAT might we learn and WHEN to best position ourselves to embrace our later life?

Some individuals must learn troubling lessons early: to address (say) extreme safety and survival issues. That is not the majority, however.

Growing up in an industrial, western-style culture there are simple lessons that can commonly provide solid foundations for most individuals.

If we look across the personalities and skills of typical people we encounter there appear common themes of challenges we will all need to address in life and where some basic knowledge gleaned beforehand would be most helpful.

For Example, I believe most people would benefit from basic training in or exposure to what is a reasonable expectation of behavior in:

• Groups (Familial, Social, Educational and Work)
• Personal and Partner Relationships

Certainly, if you didn’t know what to expect, you’re liable to tolerate the UNreasonable, to the detriment of yourself and ultimately, others you will influence.

In addition, I’ve seen many people who would clearly have benefitted by exposure to and awareness of:

• How To Study
• Common Medical issues
• Mental Health

Again, if you have no exposure to things you will encounter there are no guarantees you (or others you influence) will manage the challenges well.

There are other generic challenges most of us will encounter. The suggestions herein are simply common (Example) areas to which we will all be exposed.

The more people I meet the more it’s apparent that few received such guidance or training. And the lack of exposure is normally detrimental.

Leaving individuals devoid of such (Examples, above) knowledge and preparedness seems like sending untrained soldiers out to war. Predictably, things will commonly not end well.

It is not a matter for this brief BLOG to identify exactly WHAT exposure should be given, WHEN or HOW; rather the purpose is to flag the dearth of obviously important preparedness.

I am certain that exposure to, awareness of just such example basic elements (Groups, Relationships, Study, Medical and Mental, listed above) would have saved many people I have personally observed from needless disasters, pain, misdirection and grief.

Equally I believe that we have each stumbled through related issues; even when we considered ourselves to have overcome such obstacles we are often merely soldiering on with deeply flawed, self-delusions.

And, we all influence others. Our resultant false impressions and beliefs are foisted upon the unaware and unprotected.

We infect family, friends, acquaintances and colleagues with our adopted Cultural, Belief and Value systems.

Are there lessons you failed to pass along? Are there life-lessons you still have not really learned; do you see warning signs?

Take a close look at your own preparedness and what might still be learned. Significant changes may be essential for your long-term well-being and any level of self-awareness achieved is a great beginning

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.