Everybody gets attacks of nervousness one time or another.
It’s accepted as normal to get those butterflies, perhaps knots in your stomach, shortening of breath or even palpitations.
Many people suffer chronically and have disabling symptoms. This is generally bad for your health.
Attacks are brought on by what we perceive as important meetings, interviews, new jobs, public-speaking situations and more.
Most of us overcome the tensions with simple self-motivators. We take deep breaths, divert our thoughts, etc.
Who among us hasn’t heard the suggestion to envisage the audience at an intimidating speaking engagement as being seated dressed in their underwear? The goal is to diminish seriousness and tension in the situation.
But what if we could empower ourselves by instilling Skill, Knowledge and Core Beliefs that enable us to more permanently elevate our confidence and self-assurance?
A few days ago I held open the door at the local Starbucks for a man wearing a T-shirt boldly declaring, “I have issues.” Of course he has issues. At some level everyone has issues.
In reality humans are nervous, petty individuals wracked with neuroses and insecurities. We all have them.
A couple of years ago I recall reading a book (by Paul Johnson, “Intellectuals”) detailing the lives and characters of every supposed major intellectual from as far back as Rousseau to the late 1900s. Even these people are riddled with issues and behavioral defects.
If they are allowed their defects and imperfections, then you are allowed yours. This is important to truly know.
The longer one lives the easier to see shortfalls in people we meet. Many wear imperfections on their sleeves. Often their characters as children are clearly visible in them as adults. This is the very nature of being human.
So why do we get nervous and have those situations we fear? Is it just the novelty, or our underlying lack of self-confidence? I believe it is both.
The unfamiliarity or novelty aspects of our fears can be overcome by practice. Envisioning a situation ahead of time, role-playing, mentally preparing and pre-living events will invariably calm those troubling thoughts.
As for intimidation from those other people involved, why should you fear them? Despite their outward confidence you can be assured they have underlying insecurities, whether immediately obvious or not. So, why be intimidated? Why not just tune into the reality of their inevitable imperfections. Why can’t your flaws be of comparatively minor significance? It’s empowering to perceive things this way.
Do you ever find your performance diminished by nerves? You probably do; again, it’s part of being human.
So the next time you envision yourself being potentially impaired by some event, do some preparation; both mental and physical. And above all, recognize those folks across the room likely have many of your anxieties, imperfections and probably, much more.
Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh