Late last week while performing some online research I was inadvertently sidetracked into the subject of Bullying in the Workplace. Normally, I would ignore such a distraction (and specifically tell others to avoid such defocused behavior!), but knowing several current sufferers in bad job situations, this interesting subject inevitably drew my attention. And, although reported numbers can differ, this problem is globally accepted as quite common, even sometimes being referred to as a “widespread phenomenon.” So, I waded through blogs, articles and reference pieces to understand others’ opinions and current thinking.

I was a little surprised to find that much short-form advice offered to “victims” was less direct than expected and even sometimes seemed based in a need for cathartic release! It also struck me just how diverse bullying in the workplace can be, ranging from occasional unsupportive comments, through sustained denigration into forms of sexual harassment and even cyber abuse. So, are you being abused now, or, have you ever been? Know any colleagues or friends who are suffering such problems? Sadly, it is statistically likely you do!

Do we always recognize when we are being bullied? It seems to me that if you think you’re being abused, you probably are. And, if anyone comments about negative treatment you receive, you might certainly already need to act. When you take action your recovery is underway and you are re-establishing control of your work life. For bullying to actually cease, a profound change must occur:

Either, the bully ”sees the light.” Very unlikely unless they are acting-out short-term stress problems brought on by (say) family and/or work issues that are truly abnormal and realistically can and will subside. Here the perpetrator needs to be professionally exposed to concerns and the results caused by their behavior.

Or, you and the bully part ways. This is typically the most common, sensible and essential outcome.

I personally don’t believe that bullies with long-term behavior problems can usually be fixed by training and counsel. Improvements seem possible, but fixes seem far less likely. Even if there appears to be hope, their victims are best served not sticking around to await the cure. They already have their own challenges, so should normally remove themselves to improved situations and begin their own forward progress.

A change of bosses will only happen in a couple of ways:

1. The boss is moved, promoted away or changes companies. Don’t languish long in a bad situation waiting for this to happen unless there is some real certainty it will occur.
2. You move into another part of the organization or change companies.

Once you recognize a bullying problem you need to plan your strategy. Frustratingly, even during tough economic times this might often mean you moving. However, a short-term inconvenience and upheaval is well worth the effort that can result in a happier work-life and perhaps even benefit your health. Be sure to use all the positive work experience and knowledge you gained in your (bullied) position to help you go to a new role, rather than allow the bullying drive you from your current role. Always move positively to a better future, never away from the past.

Bullies should not be allowed to work their ways without recourse.  We each have a human and professional duty to protect and help their victims. So, be sure to seek advice and guidance from known-trustworthy colleagues and influencers to help you ensure that bullies you observe (or leave behind) are well known within their companies. The goal should only be to deposit sound and balanced warnings with appropriate professionals who must take action, despite any temptations to seek vindication or revenge!

If you were ever such a victim, be sure to recognize and reflect upon this fact. You will not repair and grow without such acknowledgment. The worse and longer-term your abuse, the more important it is you understand even your own role in any inadvertent acceptance or tolerance that was involved. Be sure that any short-term situations you experience don’t take a toll you fail to recognize. Lastly, we shouldn’t obsess disproportionately about the past and if you find yourself doing so, involve others (quietly and privately). There are many on-line resources that can assist you and provide guidance.

Sometimes we undergo and accept abuse in the workplace which we fail even to recognize. Only upon reflection, does its reality become clear. So again, were you ever bullied? Did you take back control and turn that negative situation into a positive growth experience?