The moment someone sets eyes on you they begin forming strong and broad-based opinions about who you are. It happens in seconds. And more, they’ll likely spend the rest of their time with you confirming their first impression.
The truth is humans are prolific rationalization machines. It’s normal for us to jump to opinions and selectively reinforce our first impressions.
Psychologists, Behaviorists, Anthropologists all tell us we each communicate through highly evolved body-language which is a part of our personalized repertoire of nonverbal behavior. Also, there is an inherent need for us to evaluate and assess new people quickly. After all, we are a very successful part of the animal kingdom and so possess great, innate survival instincts!
In a social setting, we perhaps sometimes get a slightly better break when people first assess us. Maybe those new contacts are more relaxed, have more time, or are even fundamentally more open in their evaluations. However, in the work environment introductions often happen quickly and inaccurate judgments can easily have undesirable consequences.
Let’s say someone walks into a room or lobby and you are waiting to meet them for the first time. Whether you like it or not you are immediately inundating them with signals and they are drinking them in.
With a glance lasting only moments and following a brief initial introduction, this person will instinctively assess your:
Appearance
Facial Expressions
Stance
Posture
Movements
Voice
Dress
Behavior
Support of cultural norms
It would be better if the image we present really represents who we are. Certainly it takes an awful lot to undo this first impression.
Given this knowledge we can actively make a choice to either accurately reveal who we are, or even conceal things we don’t want to expose.
So, with general awareness of this reality, it comes as no surprise that much has been published about Dressing for Success, following Greeting Protocols and Conveying a Positive Body Image (etc.) in the workplace.
On first reflection this whole situation seems unbelievably superficial. After all, we are complex creatures, possessing:
Diverse Talents and Skills
Unique Qualifications and Experience
Values
Strengths
Weaknesses
Beliefs
Personalized Motivations and Circumstances
Etc.
Yet people will normally lock in on their first, instant impressions. All your subsequent messages (conscious, unconscious, verbal or physical) may be ignored or accepted depending on the recipient’s flexibility, expertise, curiosity and even available time.
These are tough facts to swallow if you’re on a date, in an interview, being evaluated or even investigated in some way.
I remember when I played sports (rugby in my case) as a young man. Certainly I prided myself on being able to glance at an opponent and assess his skills in seconds; even recognizing diverse tendencies for exceptional movement, speed or strength. I knew what to watch out for and it served me well. Was my excellent observation nothing more than the universally obvious, anyway? Hard to know, but I still stubbornly believe in my great talents in making these reads, even today!
It can be easy to view this form of communication as somewhat unimportant. Yet this could not be more untrue. If we want to convey who we are, what we think and our ideas, then body language is crucial. Our smallest movements and actions instill mental states and reactions in others.
High profile personalities, actors and politicians all recognize this opportunity and manipulate their bodies to convey their messages.
If you’re up for an important meeting, why wouldn’t you pay the same attention to these details? Practicing gestures and the body language you want, you can more readily convey the information and impression you desire. Even more, by installing such body language as part of your repertoire you can actually move towards becoming that person you portray and want to be.
It is said that within the first 3-7 seconds (apparently, even these reported, very short times can vary!) you can tell how someone feels about themselves. Their facial expressions, stance and the way they move offer messages about mood, feelings, attitudes, emotions and much more.
It is better to control such powerful communication the way we choose. Why send a set of misleading (perhaps even damaging) messages to someone you meet that don’t accurately reflect who you are or what you believe? Don’t we all often make this very mistake?
Do you have an important meeting on the horizon where you want to instantly convey the best image of yourself? If you do, then better you spend a little time thinking about that moment of initial contact; those first few seconds really do count!
FOOTNOTE: There are 5 Articles linked from within the body of this BLOG, above. Each LINK provides you excellent guidance regarding actions you can take to present the most positive body-language possible in many different “first impression” situations you might encounter.
Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh