A couple of weeks ago I was at lunch with a good friend who is a serial entrepreneur. He’s been a pretty successful high-tech player for a number of years, is Ivy League (PhD.) educated and articulate with a confident air.
Let’s cut this long story short. My friend is raising start-up money and in his case there are three likely sources he should approach.
Good entrepreneurs all know they must solve problems, find the best approach quickly and eliminate leads which are poor options swiftly (i.e. fail fast).
After quick assessments of the most likely viable sources my friend seemed to want my opinion regarding who to approach and how. So, I began offering suggestions of organizations with names of people to contact and to suggest generally viable approach-styles for each situation; all designed to fail fast, or make a quick connection.
Something just didn’t seem right. Yes, I have lots of connections, but this guy surely knows as many people as myself and is more than able to construct an appropriate approach. Why was he having me ramble on about targets, calls to make and how? Why did he even need my expertise at all?
Then, my light bulb went on. He just wasn’t making those calls he could already have begun. At first I didn’t believe my read of the situation, after all, he’s held senior roles in startups for a few decades. Finally I bluntly asked, “Are you just nervous about making these cold calls?” And, there we had it.
He was fundamentally uncomfortable and actually inhibited from approaching senior professionals. Pretty devastating if you’re an entrepreneur and want to raise money!
My tip to the problem was that I went through a similar realization about myself more than 20 years earlier. We can be comfortable with others and outwardly very confident, but beneath our veneers swirl those insecurities.
I was personally able to recognize and manage that specific liability in short order. Since procrastination for me is generally signaled by as short as a 24-hour delay in my taking action, I was soon analyzing what-the-heck was wrong and quickly jumped all over the issue.
But I was lucky. Yet, being paralyzed from making cold approaches (or, even those made through secondhand introductions) seems intuitively likely to be a very common problem. And, what a career-limiting block to suffer!
A quick Internet search confirms this fatal behavior is pretty common and has many other forms. I’ve often heard it said that, “all bad (and/or weak) behavior is based in insecurity.” Certainly doubting your own self-worth (or, capabilities) must be truly a debilitating insecurity to carry into the workplace. After all, success in most areas of life and business is at least in part based on an individual’s perceived level of self-confidence.
Humans are creatures seemingly littered with insecurities and peculiarities of lesser or greater significance. Yet, if Insecurity paralyzes or changes what would be your normal behavior, then for all practical purposes it’s essentially elevated to the impact level of an actual addiction, isn’t it?
How do you defeat these problems? Or at least, how do you establish a level of control whereby you can function and accomplish those things you must?
There are some simple pointers I can offer. These follow, below. Certainly my colleague (mentioned above) must overcome his demons, or the path to success is currently barred to him; his personal approaches to those cold contacts are essential.
The basic plan-of-action to overcome just this particular problem is straightforward, though execution will be easier (or, tougher) depending on your level of insecurity. The solution is to:
- Recognize it
You have to recognize you’re avoiding the meeting/call. If you know how to reach the person and you’re not doing it, figure out why. Look into yourself: what is the root reason you’re not contacting that person, right now? Sometimes this can be easier to say than fully analyze.
- Plan to Meet People
Set a deadline to making the contact and the preferred date for actual F2F meeting/call. Figure out what you want to say, your approach and even practice as you must. Remember: most people will take your calls; just be confident, professional, polite and persistent.
- Set up the Meeting/Make the Call
Make the approach and set up the meeting as required. Push (politely) to get the meeting when you need it and avoid any brushoff. Work through second party (referral/admin) if you must, but get the meeting.
- Do the Meet
Arrive on time, establish rapport but get to the point. Normally, work to build a friendship and contact for the future. Approach and present with an air of professionalism and expectation of success; be confident. You deserve to be there and your cause is worthy!
- Repeat
Stay on the horse. Repeat 2 through 4, above, for each of the different people with whom you need closure. Keep pushing for the progress you need and the results you deserve.
Things really can be as simple as just shown. Either make this work and move on, OR figure out how to get more profound help in order to execute.
I’m sure we all recognize most people have some level of the insecurity discussed above. I believe many people can overcome this problem adequately, or even completely. And unfortunately, I also realize a good number of people might fail to overcome this challenge at all.
Whatever your situation be sure to recognize and accept if you have such a problem. Just recognizing insecurity gives you some measure of power in managing its impact.
Not everyone can make cold calls. Similarly, not everyone has a regular and compelling need to do so.
And just for the record, the friend I mentioned above quickly concluded his own insecurity and inability to approach senior execs was based in childhood experiences. He said his parents, “did a number on him” regarding his self-worth relative to others. As he discovered this within only 5 min. of discussion, I suspect he will overcome!
Have you ever caught yourself not reaching out to people you must contact? Do people’s Positions, Ranks, Education, Experience, Image or Status freeze you into inaction? Respect these things, yes, but do not be put off or devalue your own self-worth as a result. Take a look at the way you approach others and consider any underlying issues that might inhibit your confidence or delay action.
Remember, overcoming such an obstacle can only enhance your career opportunities!