Ever get your wires unfortunately crossed in a 1on1 communication?

This can occur in the briefest F2F, Voice-message, Email, Text, Meeting Aside, Phone Call, On-line Posting or even with a conventional Letter.

No matter what we do…people just hear what they want to hear. But why?

Any individual will Understand Inputs while being affected by:

     – Their Personality (as defined by, “Culture to Personality: Curse & Blessing,” dated 03/15/17)

     – The Situation

     – Their Mood

     – Timing

     – History with the corresponding Communicator

     – Their Intentions and Needs

     – Medium Employed

     – And, past Personal Experience

When people Communicate Outwardly they are influenced by much the same things.

So, there are numerous dynamics affecting messaging.

And we can face daunting resulting challenges with individuals in the way they both Interpret and Send their signals.

In distant human origins we had simple grunts and gestures to facilitate communications. Constantly evolving speech, language, vocabulary, tools, time-sensitivity and media applications have dramatically modified even the simplest interchanges.

One would intuitively believe this array of options would greatly enhance our ability to communicate more flawlessly; in many ways this is true in others, not.

Some vehicles just don’t lend themselves as well as others for any given application…

For Example: You would not Mail an SOS Alert to the Coast Guard; few People would propose Marriage via a Text message, or execute a Firing by Email, and so on.

And at the heart of the communication challenge is that Human Element: The ability to flawlessly communicate in the most suitable manner and the skill to appropriately interpret on the receiving side; this skill is by no means universal nor even common.

It’s clear that people can often make poor choices in sending messages.

It’s equally clear many folks just don’t make good reads of what they receive.

Humans are profoundly affected by their mental Pathology. They believe what they choose to believe and can seemingly rationalize quite wild opinion.  

Even communications with familiars may be subject to startling misunderstandings. So, a swing-and-a-miss with a more casual acquaintance is often a likelihood.

Such misinterpretations are often fueled by underlying, obscure Personal Insecurities.

How can we know what sensitivities and neurosis lurk just below the surface in newer relationships? It can sometimes be daunting to speculate what personality traits might emerge in seemingly everyday situations, let alone during stressful times.

When communications become confused or perhaps volatile relationships are either forged or bridges burned.

And in practice we often learn more quickly about the peccadillos, neurosis and pathology of others by rapid exposure and tribulation.

As a result, we choose fight or flight. Do we digest and persevere with problem situations or just walk away and avoid?

There is no one solution; the choice is situationally dependent. What is the value and/or risk?

In all our communications we must necessarily remain sensitive to opportunities and liabilities of human, situational and channel implications.

Have you come unglued with anyone, recently? Was it truly warranted, or a likely product of your own vantage point or insecurity?

Anyone derailed on you? Been initially lost as to what in their pathology triggered an outburst?

Take some time to consider recent fraught communications. Often you can readily mitigate problems, sometimes you should not even try.

Ever embarrassed yourself by giving imprecise or carelessly ambiguous information? I have.

My major gaffe was as a young graduate in my first professional role. The reaction I received to my waffling was severe and thankfully proved a valuable epiphany.

Fortunately, I was in an after-work situation, but talking loosely about what was a complex, job-related technical issue.

I was corrected, admonished and appropriately lectured by an older, more seasoned peer. It turned out to be one of the best lessons I’ve ever learned; never resented the chiding even as it occurred.

At the time I was coming newly from academia, enamored with glib word usage and style, characteristic of a less demanding, largely non-critical and more forgiving environment.

My new work outside of this needed a more disciplined and precise style of communication. I was fortunate to have learned this early on. It was a rapid and effective cultural adjustment.

Now, business usually demands greater rigor, orientated around rapid problem-solving.

Yet even today, most people I meet tend towards imprecise conversation and communication. It’s just easier and less demanding.

Also, many cultures seem to revere a more relaxed delivery and statement. Demonstrating an unhurried, manana (Spanish lang.) approach is often considered more polished, even sophisticated.

But there are times when precision and accuracy are important; indeed, they are essential.

For Example: Ever been burned by someone who’ll “see you by noon.” What does this even mean? This is not helpful if you then need to hang around wondering if the term implies a 9-12 window, or maybe not long after 12 o’clock (?). It’s virtually impossible to know what is intended.

Now perhaps it does not matter so much if this person’s (say) arriving at your house for an afternoon or evening social event, but if it’s to an office meeting where folks must be on-call, juggling lunch… well, it’s a mess. It’s inconsiderate.

Similarly, consider any situation where someone is trying to solve an important and urgent problem. They don’t want to hear your feelings and suspicions about an event, they need to know WHAT happened, WHEN, WHERE and to what EXTENT.

When you routinely fail to provide appropriate (aka essential and/or required) details you are likely to appear either foolish, unconcerned, indifferent, uncalibrated, inconsiderate or even unintelligent. Such behavior just seems flakey.

It is wise to communicate with the clarity and precision the situation demands.

It is unwise to fail to recognize such situations in BOTH business and personal settings.

Circumstances are worsened further when people are reasonably pressed for clarification and their apparent prevarications continue. This is easily taken as insensitivity or aloofness.

Being sensitive to the informational needs of others is often just common courtesy.

The burden on those requiring facts and accuracy can be profound, too. They typically press for details

out of necessity, not some misguided need to control (though this can occur).

Demanding clear communication from others can be exhausting. It is often essential.

Relationships, businesses and friendships are built on trust, which requires clear communication.

Sometimes it IS appropriate to relate matters in terms of feelings and opinions. But when specific problems must be resolved hard facts need to emerge.

Encouraging others to communicate more clearly can be done in a several ways. These revolve around either gently and systematically routinely questioning inputs to seek such clarity, or outright demanding such delivery.

The former approach conditions behavior and grows awareness, whereas the latter seeks immediate compliance.

Training a behavior though awareness is the most congenial approach.

Demanding accurate, concise communication is sometimes essential. It may however require later follow-up, social repairs or explanation.

In most cultures, business, time pressure and the requirement to get results will not allow participants to wander about with waffling communication styles.

In truth, precision for its’ own sake is seldom required. Yet when accuracy really IS REQUIRED, do NOT be the person offering vagaries.

Do you need to seriously improve the way you communicate with others? Are you frustrating relationships with your lack of clarity?

Should you speak to a worker or colleague about their frustrating imprecision? Is there specific guidance you might provide to improve such weaknesses in others?

Carefully consider how these issues affect your professional and personal lives. Perhaps now is the time to address the problems before frustration and resentments compound.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh

Trust is foundational in a relationship whether between Colleagues, Friends, Spouses, Significant Others or even Animals.

What it is and means can be stated succinctly:

The NOUN, Trust…

… firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something.

Trusting someone…

…believing in their reliability, truthfulness, abilities or strength.

Many people fear to trust. Sometimes this is burned into their personalities as the result of their life experiences. Perhaps it is tied directly to interactions with a specific person.

In the end, being able to trust (and wisely) will prove fundamental to our personal happiness.

Throughout life all relationships have ups and downs. But there remain actions we can take to help others trust us.

The mantle of being Trustworthy is commonly assumed by:

Keeping routines, being Predictable (as opposed to boring, fickle and random etc.)

Being Reliable

Meaning What We Say

Telling the Truth

Sharing How We Feel

Saying No, Sometimes (as/if/when appropriate)

These traits and behaviors are self-explanatory.

Building Trust in relationships is generally believed achieved by:     

Shared Values

Providing SpaceConsideration and Kindness

Acting Without Alternative Motives

Making the Relationship a Real Priority

Seeing Things Through

Again, the meanings here are self-evident.

The downside to underperforming in these areas … Lack of Trust: a slippery slope typically leading to lies and deception.

And since people have a propensity to treat others as they are treated, there is an inevitable likelihood they will reciprocate and respond with the same or equivalent behavior. The innate human desire to retaliate can cause us to enter the descending slope.

Relationships are easily overtaken by Deception when Trust is weakened.

These pointers and guidelines are assumed, general and common knowledge. They summarize long-standing principals and belief.

Yet how many people really adhere to such maxims in their relationships? Who is truly aware of the pitfalls and routinely acts to mitigate the liabilities?

How are you doing in your relationships? Any of these simple pointers need your improved application with those you care about?

At work, home and in everyday life, these same Principals of Trust apply. So, take a close look at how you are doing, and why.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh

Just a few days ago I read A.N.Other article about the supreme importance of Execution. It was well-written, pertinent with many valid points.

But, it missed the mark.

Naturally, Execution is extremely important. If you cannot bring Ideas (and Products) to fruition, they might as well have never been conceived.

Imperfect or failed execution is lost opportunity and wasted investment. All this is true.

I first had the related debate 10’s of years ago; then we were discussing the relative importance of Ideas versus Execution.

As a young, start-up VP-of-Engineering debating a seasoned (well-known and highly respected) Silicon Valley Executive (my boss, the CEO) we both leaned with inevitable biases.

My colleague held that “ONLY Execution mattered.” I felt his position egregiously undervalued the creative process.

As in many arguments, in different ways we were BOTH right. We were similarly both wrong.

Clearly, without Execution there is no result. Ideas without viable results or consequences are of little value or import; particularly so in business. Not a totally unreasonable argument.

 Yet the reverse is true: If you have no Ideas to implement, then execution prowess is meaningless.

In reality, we need BOTH Ideas AND Execution equally. This seems an obvious conclusion.

And yet, as in every argument your opinion might differ greatly depending upon your perspective.

My colleague was in an advantaged, senior position. Seemingly every day prospective entrepreneurs would bring product and business ideas to the table. He had seen many products proposed and pushed before occasionally being taken up and implemented, sometimes many years later in modified forms.

Delays in realization can be affected by Resources, Opportunity and Timing. You need the right stuff at the right time and in the right place.

It is easy to understand that when you are surrounded by Ideas and Suggestions, they seem almost free and of lesser value. Put another way, until Execution occurs and an Idea is realized it might easily seem no more than dust blowing in the wind.

But conversely, without the Idea (and Creative Process) there is simply nothing to realize.

Ideas within themselves are inherently important, even if not realized. Creative new thoughts emerge from older ones; precedence can be common. Even dead-ends will suggest direction and provide guidance.

All this applies equally to Personal Life. Without the ability to take action (Execute) our plans (Ideas) are just thoughts; they can become unfulfilled dreams.

In Business, we need channels to produce the Ideas (or Product Concepts, or Approaches) that fuel our growth. These may be R&D, Marketing, Customer Input or other Forums and Mechanisms.

Similarly, we ultimately succeed or fail depending on the excellence of our Execution. This typically involves Development, Manufacturing, Pricing, Sales & Marketing and our Delivery.

So, there we have it. It is NOT one versus the other (Execution v. Ideas), it is BOTH.

And excellence requires at least real competence across their spectrums.

Do you have all the great Ideas necessary to succeed? Need to upgrade your sources?

Look at your own Execution. Does it get you where you want to be, when you need to get there?

Make sure YOUR Business and Life are filled with great Ideas AND the ability to make things happen.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Many of us have been exposed to the Personality Profiling and Human Behavior Characterizations long common in industry. Professionals often undertake their new responsibilities on the coattails of such testing. Management teams relentlessly search for excellence by better understanding the natures and differences of their colleagues; and this, all based upon

such characterization.

Yet regardless of the specific Personality-Type we find ourselves to be, there remain key BEHAVIORS from which we can all profoundly benefit. These are our abilities to Adapt and be Flexible.

Perhaps you have heard of the well-known and generally still highly regarded Briggs Meyer testing scheme? It pigeon-holes participants in one of sixteen (16) Personality-types (Types).

If interested you can easily find free testing questionnaires on-line that quickly determine your personal characteristics and hence classify you as a specific Type.

If we briefly indulge a Summary of the principals involved, this classification is achieved by considering (per Carl G. Jung’s characterization) your…

General Attitude and direction of Energy Expression:

Extroversion (E) versus Introversion (I)

Preference for form of Perception:

Sensing (S) versus Intuition (N)

Preference for processing Information:

Thinking (T) versus Feeling (F)

This was added to (circa 1980) by Isabel Briggs Meyer (presumably a Jungian disciple) who espoused the principle of judging-perceiving influencing personality-type.

How a person Implements Processed Information:

Judging (J) versus Perceiving (P)

So, there we have it. By the nature of the testing we are ALL fitted into ONE of 16 Boxes. These Personality-types are defined by us being biased predominantly to one element in each of the 4 pairs (above); we are all characterized as either: E or I, S or N, T or F, J or P.

Intriguingly, in four (4) versions of these tests administered over 30 years my own characterization has remained essentially unchanged. Very interesting and consistent.

The associated detailed Personality Descriptions spell-out insightful and quite extensive character outlines for each of these resulting 16 Types: ESTJ, ESTP, ESFJ, ESFP, ISTJ, ISTP, ISFJ, ISFP, ENTJ, ENTP, ENFJ, ENFP, INTJ, INTP, INFJ and INFP.

If you embark on the testing process, once you’ve been pigeon-holed you’ll find the corresponding Personality-Type Description strikingly relevant and appropriate. These outlines alone offer insightful reading, even without a test.

But inevitably, this illumination also highlights the obvious and inevitable flaws for each personality-type. Every pigeon-hole showcases great strengths alongside (often understated) accompanying deficiencies.

Happy is the individual whose life is largely aligned with the strengths of their Personality-Type.

Yet none of us exist in a vacuum and our life experiences are broad, so inevitably those flaws (see above) can and usually will make some form of appearance. They are the chinks in our armor.

Here now is exactly why both Adaptability & Flexibility are of great import.

We can readily compensate for our Personality-type deficiencies by ADAPTING. Adaptability mitigates any weakness and enhances our ability to prevail.

Likewise, FLEXIBILITY is equally valuable. It is our ability to bend pliably with circumstance as we ADAPT to challenges.

So, Adaptability and Flexibility are great Behavioral Skills to possess. They protect and aid us when we’re most exposed by our deficiencies and yet can also enhance our performance when we are at our best.

We are exercised and stressed by challenges we face at work, home and in our personal lives. Adaptability and Flexibility are assets on every front.

Now think a while about your own circumstances.

Review both the new and familiar challenges you face. Are you ADAPTING sufficiently and FLEXING in your own best interests? Perhaps you need to improve? Think it through.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh

Why do we try new things?

Most new ventures are driven by either Necessity or Enrichment. We NEED to do things so we might benefit in some way.

It’s common understanding that many people fear change; but what are new things if not this?

And failure to react to change can leave us leave us disadvantaged in our ability to branch out in different directions.

In practice, new ventures can be either profound or minor; as simple as bringing on a new phone App or disruptive as career change.

Sadly, for some people the discomfort of change is as dramatic for inconsequential events as major; yet, it can become life-limiting if we are paralyzed to inaction as a result.

A sudden or unexpected need for change can be a shock to almost anyone’s system. The challenge is to embrace the need (and often inevitability), take a deep breath, accept what is essential and see the ultimate opportunity and benefit.

Being able to fearlessly embrace change is empowering. It is the gateway to new ventures, skills, places and experiences.

Driving a car at >150mph can be a thrill, but then if things goes badly wrong the consequences may be dire. Similarly, going sailing can be a great adventure but here the downside of (say) a little sea-sickness is more minor (assuming risk of drowning is low!).

So, on some occasions we might be gung-ho in trying new things, but it’s generally wiser to avoid truly reckless behavior.

We can take on simple or even adventurous new enterprises, expanding our own envelope, providing we understand and can live with the associated risks and consequences.

I believe people should push themselves and seek out new challenges; be they mental, emotional or physical.

There is no reason we should back off doing what we can reasonably achieve throughout the course of our entire lives.

After all, when we no longer challenge ourselves we cease to grow. This is the path to stagnation.

I regularly meet people who are regretful about specific things they have not done. And sadly, these were clearly readily possible within their financial, physical and emotional constraints.

Certainly, unless fraught with rare psychological constraints, no-one need be that person full of regrets.

Aspire to what is possible for you.

For example, a young healthy person may not (say) be practically able to climb Mount Everest, but perhaps they are still fully capable of clambering up many Monroes (>3,000 feet tall mountains), if they just make the opportunity.

Similarly, older people might not even be fully mobile, but can still (say) get themselves wheel-chaired onto a plane, cross the country and attend that favorite niece’s wedding.

We can often do more than we first think. There is always much that can be reasonably realized.

We only need to imagine and try; there is usually some way to make great things happen.

Got any skills you failed to develop? Any places you never went and still might? Any person you should have sought out and didn’t? Is there something you just never attempted?

Fortunately, it’s usually never too late.

Imagine what you might try, and make it happen!

A large part of Succeeding is Failing.

Not that Failure is preferable to Success, but rather its often an inevitable step on the path.

Inventors notoriously fail repeatedly when refining their inventions. Thousands of failed attempts were made to perfect a viable light-bulb, for example.

Some failures are catastrophic and should preferably never occur; the Titanic comes to mind.

Ideally, we avoid and design out all failure and risk. But in practice we are often forced to discover problems retroactively.

Failures generally precede and are fundamental to ultimate success. Little is ever perfected without repetition and improvement; in such circumstances dealing successfully with failure is an imperative.

Triumph through failing is accomplished by our distinct Actions:

Recognizing the Failure

Analyzing the Problem(s)

Developing Corrective Action

Implementing the Next Pass

And, above all DOING ALL THIS QUICKLY.

Fail Fast has been the mantra for Entrepreneurs, Inventors, Investors and Business people for decades.

Not all Failures are catastrophic; they are typically inevitable, likely or possible. The issue is to learn from them, adjust and move forwards.

These principals and Actions are by no means unique to Business and the Invention Process. They apply equally to many facets of life including, but not limited to Interpersonal Communications, Relationships and all the Sciences and Arts we might imagine.

It is our human ability to learn and move on that matters; our intellect, heart, appetite and resolve enable us to prevail and ultimately succeed.

The very act of practicing anything to perfect one’s skills is by its nature an acceptance of the role of failure in pursuit of success.

Yet the idea of Failure itself is not well received in most cultures. Nevertheless, embracing a methodology and philosophy centered around this seeming inevitability is of obviously great value.

And ultimately, we are all resultant products of our Success and Failures.

So-called, Failing Fast is critical to Manufacturing. If you’re building (say) complex or expensive goods it behooves you to test early and often to find unfixable defects quickly and eliminate further wasted investment. Both the success and profitability of most Corporations is directly tied to this approach. And of course, any fixable defects might also be reworked.

Relationships and Human Interaction can be quite similar, but might require more subtle handling. Here, sometimes rapid recognition AND correction of issues is critical; in other instances, simple early awareness and moderated reaction is more appropriate.

Examples of this might be (say) the difference between clearing a building that’s on fire, versus working through corrective action(s) for a child’s bad behavior. In both these cases knowing early on helps, but the need for immediate and brisk action can be different.

In most all instances, rapid RECOGNITION of Failure is valuable. The issue is to have the recovery process and Actions consistent (in both timing and severity) with the significance and urgency of the Failure (or, Problem).

Clearly NEW products, situations and events blatantly cry out for this type of analysis and thinking.

Thus, it’s easy to overlook established processes in need of fresh review. Initiating insightful investigation (even belatedly) often uncovers valuable new opportunities for both great and small improvements, simply by using a Fail Fast approach and mindset.

And again, these principals apply equally to Business, Personal and Family Life, Engineering, Sciences and Arts alike.

So, are you Failing Fast, when you should? Checking for troubles, early on? Are you adjusting and correcting in the appropriate timeframe?

There’s no time like the present to run these ideas and principals by your Work and Private Life to discover just what benefits and improvements are there for the taking. Give it a try.