Our path in life is defined by the things we Learn. We become what we Learn.

This is affected by the subjects we choose and just as profoundly determined by those items we do not study or embrace.

We make Learning Choices to facilitate specific progress in the direction we wish to proceed.

And these CHOICES are made:

Most ominous is Choice By Exclusion, for when one major course is followed then innumerable alternatives are passed over as the inherent consequence. This has a major impact on our lives as it defines how we will now not turn out.

Humans are conceived and born as somewhat specific, predefined entities; this by our DNA and reptilian brains with inbuilt reactions and instincts. Thereafter it’s up to us.

Initially, we are flooded during formative years by specific culture(s), exposures, events, surroundings and incidents. These progressively begin to shape us in the very earliest years.

We are taught specific skills and behaviors. We develop consequential attitudes, propensities and perspectives. Our Psyche is formed.

But what of the impact of selective learning? By CHOICE (see earlier) we pick things to learn; those we want and others we must.

And by this very process we miss out on countless possibilities…

I learn to be a Botanist, so my expertise as a Doctor of Medicine, Engineer, Chemist, Fisherman, Hunter, Environmentalist and so on, are less. We unfortunately often see ourselves with limited range and are consequentially easily accepting of a diminished scope…

We Learn how to Present and Maintain ourselves; selecting particular code(s) of behavior, attire, routine(s), eating habits and more.

And we develop and focus on typically singular Career and Lifestyle paths. Some individuals learn a little of other fields and alternatives. But these are usually minor excursions compared to our primary pursuits.

Most areas of expertise run deep; consequently, in-depth mastery of many realms is onerous at best.

So, we become largely defined by what we Learn through Free Choice, affected by internal desires and external influence.

A direction once selected is increasingly difficult to divest as time passes.

Often, we develop side-channels or hobbies from other paths to mitigate the frustrations of our linear progressions. We learn to fish, write, dabble in medicine or (say) immerse ourselves in current affairs, etc.

But most closely follow a singular path of set career, family, activities, behavior(s), associations and friends. They venture little and stray only slightly from well-defined and boundedpaths.

We become what we have Learned and Selected.

If our Choices are narrow, so are our lives.

Only when we invest in learning from elsewhere do we broaden to expanded experience(s).

All this is can be well and good providing we choose wisely and fittingly, early on.

But what if we chose poorly?

What if we can be much more and diverse?

What if we want to change and redirect?

Some do. People make career and lifestyle changes later in their lives. Often these choices work well and become fulfilling. The opportunity usually exists when an individual has the imagination, desire and will take the plunge.

Yet it’s better if we find our way early in life. Better delay at the outset and choose wisely than wrongly invest and pursue a less attractive course.

Our ability to make course corrections depends on self-image, skills, intellect, opportunity, passion, etc. Both the Psyche and circumstance will enable or hinder new ambitions.

Initial Learning Choices ideally need to be aligned with desirable (i.e. wanted by the individual) end results. The trick is to know oneself and target wisely. Not always an easy task.

And as we progress though life we should understand how and if we change and evolve and course-correct our learning and direction accordingly.

As for guiding children (and Others), things are predictablyaligned; giving them free reign to choose, providing exposure, opportunity, encouragement and suggesting diverse possibilities all empower them to select wisely.

Did you Learn what you needed for your chosen path through life?

Have you invested in Learning that keeps you on track?

What have you Learned (or, are Learning) that helps complete who you wish to become?

There is usually some way to get on track. You can Learn what you need, and course correct.

All that is necessary is for you to imagine and choose.

Ever noticed how some people just Win?

By this I mean Perform Outstandingly, Achieve Prominently or predictably Secure the Prize.

Their results are consistently good. They achieve relentlessly.

Winning happens in contests, at work, examinations, tests, conflict, battles, sporting events, finance, business etc., ALL aspects of Life.

It occurs in major and minor situations.

Being a winner isn’t entirely about Leadership or having traditionally associated characteristics, like possessing:

• Vision
• Charisma
• Communication Talents, and so on (see HERE for more about True Leaders)

It also isn’t about just having Specific Skills (in Management) for mastering situations, such as:

• Team Playing
• Public Speaking
• Time Management
• Planning
• Decision Analysis, and so on (see HERE for more about these Critical Skills)

This piece highlights COMMON ACTIONS Winners take that regularly bring them Success.

What they do consistently is:

• Prepare
• Attack
• Recognize Danger

Let me explain…

By Preparing they ready themselves mentally and Physically for what is to come. They often pre-play what will occur and ENVISION (in detail) the outcome they desire. They study, make and follow essential Plans and stand prepared; always checking what the competition is doing.

When participating they Attack the goal and take the initiative. They don’t sit back to watch or play off their back foot. They go all-in, committed and as frantically essential to overcome obstacles. There remains controlled wisdom in their most forceful actions. Effort and focus are relentless and true Winners will not be easily intimidated.

But they also Recognize danger. They change and adapt before AND during competition; balance and thought is required in both physical and mental commitment. As critical moments emerge, they must be recognized and adaptation (if only temporary) should occur. Then back on the ATTACK as early as possible and sensible, to re-enforce or gain advantage(s).

These behaviors (Prepare, Attack, Recognize Danger) are Universal. They apply to ALL competitive situations.

You must Know, Manage and Adapt to the competition and competitors.

It doesn’t matter if you’re playing high level competitive sport, challenging for a promotion or betting on an office football pool. This approach ALWAYS APPLIES (whether its buried within your thoughts or displayed in your physical action(s)).

Some competitions are Physical and Intense, others equally formidable yet more Cerebral.

You can witness Winning Behavior all around you. It’s in top Athletes, Business scenarios, Political situations, Academia, Research and Development, etc. It is everywhere.

Anyone can embrace this Winning Approach.

If you don’t RECOGNIZE the importance of these factors you will not be one of the winners; certainly not consistently or without a (unpredictable and/or a rare) lucky break.

Those who perform and achieve outstandingly are not lucky, but prepared, recognizing and taking the appropriate actions required with the energy and commitment essential to securing their goal(s). They learn and practice the difficult things that might lay ahead as/if/when necessary and then prepare themselves to the extent required. Their successful results are noticeably consistent.

Got any major areas where you’d like to win?

Have even minor events coming up where you’d at LEAST like a great showing? Want to just do much better?

Then consider what it takes and how success might be secured: Prepare, Attack, Recognize Danger.

Try it and see. It works!

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

We are all waiting for something or someone.

There is always a wait in progress; either in queues or for notification, our turn, people, results, events and so on.

Waiting can be easy or difficult, sometimes very difficult. Often, we cannot readily control the experience.

And in some situations, we never ultimately achieve any finality; there is no closure.

This can be excruciating, a mental torture.

The difficulties we experience depend upon the nature of the wait, its:

Issues weighted heavily in these Three Criteria can be daunting.

Sometimes events are seemingly suspended over us like a sword of Damocles. The experience can be exhausting.

Some people seem more able to just suck it up, although most will inevitably just take on as much grief and frustration as they can bear.

And yet not all matters demand we adhere to some arbitrary schedule for resolution; we don’t always just have to wait. Issues can often be resolved more quickly than we initially realize.

It’s always wise to Question, Check and Ask. On some occasions we can push for those answers we really must have and deserve.

Waits can be a little easier if they are shared with others or if the outcome is relatively certain. But often this is not the case.

Most of us are not generally trained in the general art of waiting. There are many approaches; mostly revolving around self-distraction.

Some people cannot be that easily distracted; this depends upon their personality. A more intensely focused individual can find it almost impossible to be effectively distracted.

Others believe that the slightest lapse in their concentration bodes poorly for the desired outcome; they remain fixed within the process of waiting.

I am personally not good at waiting; never have been, though have learned to be somewhat better at finding relief through self-distraction.

Typically, Difficult Waits: Relationship Resolutions, Personal Job Decisions, Health Issues, Financial Matters etc. can all be tough when seemingly faced alone.

Less Difficult Waits are often shared events where others face similar outcomes: Exam Results, Transportation Problems, Broad Organizational changes etc. Sharing may mitigate the burden in many such cases.

Depending on the psyche of the individual involved sometimes even the simplest waiting events can be tough; especially when the Three Criteria (Importance / Urgency / Long-Term Impact) are heavily loaded and you feel alone.

The pain of someone suffering, waiting for news can often be eased by sharing; empathy alone can be a wonderful, palliative panacea.

Are you aware of someone else’s “waiting?” Ever reviewed how the Three Criteria are stacking up for them? How strong is their personal ability to muddle through this crisis?

Is there a way you can and should help ease their burden?

Perhaps you are grieving and struggling through your own waiting? Anything you should do to get some relief and ease the pain?

Sometimes simple / brief distractions are all that is required: Play games, Listen to music, Do simple chores, Run errands; anything to just pre-occupy and Stay Busy.

More profound distraction takes greater commitment to shake up the mindset: Visit new places, Engage in activities that demand attention and focus, Meet new people, Seek (safe) excitement, etc.

The key is to turn any PAINFUL Wait into the most PLEASANT DISTRACTION possible. And if at first you don’t succeed rethink, reset and try again with all the consideration you should afford.

Ever ask yourself this question?

It’s not about getting up in the morning and going somewhere. This is regarding where you are in life.

Your question may relate to where and how you live, your job, relationship(s), cultural surrounds, position, attitude, beliefs or yes, even physical location.

We arrive at a specific point by following unique and usually very diverse paths. And here we are.

Often, we ask ourselves about where we find ourselves because something just feels wrong. But any time we choose to reflect upon and consider our path the past can be surprising.

We generally form a self-image of who we will become at a very early age; we see ourselves being a specific way. Arguably, it is said this impression is well-formed by the age of seven years.

In any event a guiding image is likely formed very early on.

And, one would expect this (image) to be influenced by our genes, family, experiences, exposure, position, culture, psyche etc.; a large collection of influencers.

Most of our lives are spent reinforcing and securing a path that moves us towards that strongly ingrained original impression.

But there is no reason that early image cannot be modified or even dramatically changed. Consider…

In the recent past many people lived and died within a small geographical area. Their needs were sufficiently fulfilled and so they remained constrained by immediately available infrastructure, opportunity and their own imagination.

Today we are free to expand our horizons and aspirations; communications, transportation and wealth are more prevalent each passing decade.

This means our self-image can be more inclusive and adventurous, benefitting from more expansive exposure.

The limited exposures of a child from 50 years ago is now superseded by seemingly limitless modern industrial-era possibilities and the colorful images that flood today’s world.

Perhaps this is the reason we see so many later-stage lifestyle changes being made; early childhood perspectives are constantly being refreshed, modified and even over-written.

But let’s return to the original question…

Do you like being where you are?

Is that job (or relationship, culture, location, career, lifestyle, future-outlook, etc.) what you want?

Must you accept what is and now what likely will be?

Of course, the intuitive answer is, “no.”

Logically, with no material restraints we can simply walk awayfrom any situation; unless there are emotional shackles. Humans typically respond to their own ingrained commitments to duty, honor, responsibilities in ways that will either free them to change or bind them with sustaining behavior.

Our established moral beliefs determine how and if we stick with our established norms and outlook.

It is interesting to look back at our paths through life. Often, we have travelled far from our origins to here. Sometimes there is almost no distance at all.

Some people find themselves on other continents, speaking a different language, immersed in cultures quite distinct from their origins. It is doubtful the early self-images these individualspossessed as young children match the current situation.

When people find themselves far removed from their origins, are they conflicted? Would not their childhood expectations (and self-images) pull on them still?

To understand where we are, we must know where we once were.

Our view of both stations needs to be clear. And only then can we see the points of inflection that moved us from our origins to the present.

These things are good to know. It’s wiser and healthier to have basic insight into who we are now and from where we came (mentally, physically, psychologically). We are molded by what we can or cannot control and circumstance.

So, how did you get here; where here means this precise location, situation and point in time?

Do you like where you are and are headed?

If not, maybe there are opportunities to change some aspects to what you might prefer? It is always your choice.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

We all have our addictions; things in our lives we’d be better off without.

They include a broad range of types, some less obviously recognizable than others…

Being addicted is not just about presenting as a falling-down drunk that needs to be helped to bed. There are many subtle types of addiction which are comparably harmful.

Precise definitions of Addiction are as numerous as the authoritative sources that reference them.

For our purposes here let’s say (the Noun) Addiction is…

“The state of being controlled by something that is psychologically or physically harmful to your interests and difficult to quit.”

Many types of Addiction are now more commonly recognized as a form of disease.

The most obvious recognized Addictions (Drugs, Alcohol abuse) are treated by having the victim/sufferer break away from the situations and associations that expose them to their specific problem.

So, Alcoholics stay away from bars, manage situations where drinking will occur and avoid relationships where alcohol is a central fixture. Much the same approach is employed by recovering drug abusers.

Make no mistake, it is a tough proposition to adopt this new protocol and overcome established behaviors.

In Summary: The method is to limit exposure, by thoughtfully controlling and changing habits, relationships and behaviors associated with the previous undesirable lifestyle. You control the Addiction, not vice versa.

And by extension this same approach can be applied to other Addictions, as listed above.

For Example: Sometimes our Roles (socially, at work or in the home) are nothing but Addictions. Meaning we are often subject to repeated treatment and expectation that is a part of some imposed group dynamic which inflicts a specific role upon us. It can occur in all the aforementioned settings.

In Families, people have Roles: The Protector, Dictator, Judge, Leader, Peacemaker, Troublemaker, Clown, Abuser, Victim and so on.

Within such settings we personally often assume one such Role, whether it is in our best interests or not. It is typically a group-sanctioned role that is imposed upon us, but we sometimes unwittingly adopt our own preferred choice. (NOTE:  It is only the materially unhealthy choice with which we are concerned here).

The same is true of Roles in the workplace and social gatherings. There we have our go-to experts, problem-solvers, fools, butts of jokes, unreliable contributors, procrastinators, the error-proneand so on.

Often these Roles are again imposed upon us and are unwanted. When group gatherings are a frequent occurrence (say, in the Workplace, Social Settings or Home), they can be constantly reinforced.

So, often we are forced to live with them. They may make us unhappy, perhaps even resentful. And they are sticky.

But isn’t this the same as an Addiction? It’s harmful to our interests and difficult to shake.

So, the methodology of limiting exposure, changing circumstance, environment and behaviors is again the way out of such situations.

We cannot always simply walk away or completely avoid gatherings and situations that cause us harm or make us unhappy.

But we can usually modify circumstance and our own reactions just enough to mitigate the damage(s).

In group (or family) settings we can often predict/ see where things are heading. We know what buttons will be pressed, by whom and when.

So, we can manage our own destinies and change things up.

We should minimize the situations that devolve this way. And when things take a wrong turn, know proactively (when possible) how to gracefully and painlessly extricate oneself.

You don’t have to run away; simply know when to modify your old behaviors and adopt an approach that works better for you without inflaming matters. With time and patience, it is possible to happily modify and perhaps even change your group-defined role.

Some groups may be receptive to discussing and working through such problems when they are diplomatically and constructively pointed out.

Others might even open for professional guidance.

Whatever your Affliction or Addiction, it can and should be addressed.

Remember, those things that wound us psychologically (or physically) can often proceed to more broadly affect our general well-being and health.

Further, understanding these principles (outlined above) empowers self-direction, enabling you to guide friends, colleagues and children to the right assistance that addressestheir related needs.

Take a close look at your own situation. Many Work, Social and Familial group dynamics can leave a lot to be desired. So, identify what hurts. Then consider your approach to mitigate the harm(s).

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

Life is a series of jobs, tasks, projects and programs. Normally much depends upon the successful completion of these undertakings.

Their success or failure can have immediate or indeed enduring, life-long ramifications.

When we look to others for execution of such assignments we frequently wonder, what will be the result? And often ask ourselves, what can we do to most likely ensure a successful outcome?

A Desirable Result is “The Goal being accomplished, as or better than required and on-time.”

Well, there is a universal approach we can employ to both Assess and Secure the likelihood of positive outcomes.

We can use this same simple methodology whether we’re considering massive undertakings or merely wondering if (say) a child will complete a routine homework assignment.

The approach is straightforward and fully described, below…

Basically, for successful outcomes the participant(s) must possess enough PASSION and impending OBSTACLES should be adequately removed.

PASSION means participant(s) has

1. Desire (Wants the outcome)
2. Energy (the Drive/ no laziness or indifference)
3. Decisiveness (no Procrastination)

Overcoming OBSTACLES means participant(s) has

4. Know-How (Essential Skills)
5. Authority (to Proceed and Act)
6. Resources (Infrastructure and Tools)
7. Time (to Complete on Schedule)

These are The SEVEN (7) Necessary Pillars of Success.

They are really all it takes to support the likelihood of a positive outcome. 

We can simply look at the Participant(s) situation and quickly evaluate if they have what it takes to achieve a Desirable Result…

Do they have the Personal Attributes and Skills? Are there real Obstacles to their success?

For example: the LIKELY results we might predict are:

• All 7 Pillars being sound = STRONG Likelihood of success
• < 7 pillars sound = varying outcome/results should be expected
• Weak PASSION Pillars = mediocre or failed outcome
• I severe OBSTACLE, likely prevents favorable results

When we are supporting or championing the participant(s) we need to assist in ensuring they have strength in all Seven (7) Pillars.

On those occasions we are simply (well-informed) observers we can at least diplomatically facilitate and highlight required fixes when we see liabilities/ weaknesses.

So here we have it, “The SEVEN PILLARS of Successful Outcomes.”

These quick observations (of the 7 Pillars) can help us rapidly and accurately assess the likely success of both the smallest Tasks and greatest Programs. They leverage universal factors that illuminate probable outcomes and provide essential insight.

Correspondingly we can be forewarned if projects are weakly supported with inadequate Pillars.

It is usually better to fail early when essential fixes to supporting Pillars cannot be made as required.

Do you have any major Programs that don’t pass muster, lacking sufficient strength in their Seven (7) Pillars? Need to quickly assess some Projects and reconsider?

When it’s important you can always proactively glimpse how things will likely proceed, using this method. Why don’t you give it a try and embrace this valuable approach?

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

Learning is a characteristic of being human.

Even when we seem to not invest in learning, it just happens. Our experiences cause us to learn; the richer, the better.

And we are not alone. Mammals and reptiles alike teach one another; how find food, shelter, protect themselves, etc.

Learning is continuous, like breathing.

Say I simply walk to my car. I’m checking for rain (assessing weather patterns), navigating traffic, avoiding impediments that might trip me, ducking under overhangs and more.

We constantly learn from our experiences, watch for patterns and register things to remember; continuously building and refining our reservoir of information and knowledge.

Learning is systemic within the fabric of our existence.

We learn for several reasons. Consider here…

• Necessity

Required exposures from teachers, parents and leaders; establishing basic awareness and developing relevant skills culturally accepted as essential.

• Desire

Learning and knowledge we search out; creating deeper awareness, extra skills and more advanced specialization.

• Happenstance

That learning resulting from our experiences and exposure.

There is little universally held theory of HOW we learn and WHEN we do so most effectively. Although it is commonly accepted, we accomplish more readily when younger (< 10 years of age) and make inroads less quickly as we age.

And at some stage in our lives most of us need to assist others with their learning.

So eventually we all care about what motivates others to be receptive to our teachings.

It doesn’t matter if we are parents, teachers, managers, supervisors, executives, officers, colleagues, writers, friends, acquaintances or significant others. At some point we desire to pass on specific information or knowledge to others. And we WANT and/or NEED them to learn; the message must stick.

People like to hear great stories. That’s often a useful conduit to parse knowledge. But there is no set recipe or guaranteed approach.

My own experiences suggest people are far less motivated than I’d imagined in initiating and undertaking formal or self-planned learning.

For many individuals to be moved to action there must be Compulsion. SomeTHING or SomeONE is typically required to stimulate and/or compel activity.

It appears people learn more successfully when motivated by involvements that are….

• Physical

Causing them to directly experience and practice what they are to learn.

• Mental

Requiring them to think, consider and evaluate the relevant materials.

• Communal

Exposing them to groups immersed in the material and subject to the learning.

So, when we are trying to TEACH something, we have many avenues and approaches available. The same is true when we are trying to LEARN.

And the vehicle for best results can vary based on the recipient, resources, circumstances, subject, time and much more.

Although the breadth of variables can appear disconcerting, usually ANY reasonable attempt is better than none.

It is likely you currently need to teach somebody about something. This may be at work, socially or in your home.

If you really must get your message across and need the information to be embraced you should consider the factors, above. Stickiness matters.

Similarly, if you need training yourself, contemplate what would provide the best exposure and ensure an optimum learning experience.

We all have an on-going need to learn and we often need to teach.

When it matters, make sure you identify ALL the critical issues and opportunities involved and follow-up with practical, winning approaches to both your own Learning and Teaching.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

Most of us want to progress at work and socially. Some are more driven than others.

Certainly, promotion and recognition bring benefits we all usually value and enjoy.

Being good at what we do is a critical component in becoming successful.

But advancement requires more. We must also avoid bringing negatives to the table which torpedo our opportunities and detract from our worthiness.

Being a strong candidate often demands a broad, multi-faceted and proven skill-set. Correspondingly, our personal accompanying detractors might be subtle or obvious, diverse and numerous.

And rightly or wrongly, extremes and perceived cultural aberrations we exhibit are often just not appreciated or wanted.

So, to be selected and succeed we must simultaneously avoid DESELECTION. Simple detractors can scupper the strongest candidate.

When we recognize our liabilities, we must repair or at least diminish their significance in the eyes of selectors.

If we don’t know what these issues are, we can seek insights from trusted friends and colleagues. So, ask.

And it is not always the obvious flaw(s) that might derail our cause, it’s the one(s) that in some way offend or dissuade the individual decision maker(s).

In addition, selections are often influenced by more persons, history and circumstances than meet the eye. Practically we can usually only recognize and address the more obvious and likely concerns.

So what behaviors and attributes might we exhibit or display that could cause us problems? Consider rectifying or improving negative characteristics you exhibit regarding:

Clothing

Personal Hygiene

Sloppiness… correctness, quality and timeliness

Tardiness

Untidiness… disorganization

Physical Appearance

Procrastination

Gossiping

Politicizing, Backstabbing and Spitefulness

Body Language… Dumb Insolence

Complaining

Active Obstinacy… Resistance

Prejudice… Fixed Opinion and Bias

Too Much / Little Enthusiasm

Lack of Empathy

Treating Others Unfairly

Exerting Undue Influence

Inappropriate Actions / Behavior

Unsavory Habits

Attitude of Superiority… Pretentiousness

Ingratiating Behavior

Unpopular Associations

Being Too Loud, or Seeming Invisible

Acting Too Clever, or Appearing Dull

Being Self Not Team-Centric

Quite a daunting, unprioritized list. It’s sufficiently extensive and complete for our purpose here.

I have personally seen individuals who have unwittingly held themselves back by exhibiting some and (often) many of these characteristics. Likely you have, too.

At one time or another everybody exhibits some or several of these tendencies; most noticeably when they are stressed.

So not surprisingly, when people are being considered for selection, reviewers and selectors must often turn a blind-eye (if they can) to less obtrusive shortcomings, or perhaps diplomatically review their concerns with candidates ahead of any planned promotion. Major concerns are not generally ignored.

When our liabilities are known to us (as future candidates), we should understand which are likely to present the most negative impact to our prospects. If it’s not obvious, ask those you trust.

Many of the problems listed above have simple intuitive remedies. Some require real fixes to the psyche.

If you care enough you will find the ways to at least diminish the outward impact and visibility of your most egregious weaknesses. So, determine the Corrective Action and follow up.

And don’t forget, these very same detractors you carry into the workplace often similarly affect all your relationships and interactions with others; in social settings and the home.

Are you aware of your negative behaviors? Do your personal foibles lessen your prospects and relationships?

We can often identify liabilities in ourselves. When we cannot, we should find someone trustworthy and ASK.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

Most of us like to help others. It’s practically useful, solves problems and usually makes us feel good about ourselves.

Yet help isn’t always beneficial. Consider…

Sometimes poor assistance or advice is rendered that either exacerbates problems or even creates issues.

And perhaps too much help is proffered.

How might there be too much assistance?

Maybe the support is overkill; a little guidance or direction is all that’s required, and the beneficiary wants nothing more.

In some cases, the old adage fits well: “Give someone a fish and you provide a meal, teach them to fish and they can feed themselves for life.”

Guiding and assisting is often all that’s needed. This can sometimes be counter to the emotional needs of providers who often want to show off their skills and be seen to solve problems; often they need to control, too.

If someone is self-sufficient then guidance and direction is usually all that is wanted. However, should they be in some way actually incapacitated then (diplomatically) completing the job for them can indeed be appropriate.

Intervening too much means exercising unnecessary and unwanted control that inhibits an individual’s independence while diminishing their sense of self-reliance.

So, can we offer help and consequentially do more harm than good? Yes indeed.

Imagine a young child needing to develop specific skills, self-sufficiency and confidence. It seems they would often be candidates for the guidance and direction approach in non-urgent, less serious situations where their long-term development can benefit.

Correspondingly, a Doctor would normally provide a comprehensive fix to patients; a specific and complete solution is typically required. Perhaps this is complemented with longer-term maintenance instruction and guidance.

Diverse types of problems require different levels and methods of assistance. And this affected further by the make-up and skills of the recipient and provider, circumstance and timing.

Consider next the highly analogous area of mental health…

Every human has a unique, distinct personality and psyche.

Individuals are created and/or defined by their DNA, experiences, culture and position. Normally their outward behavior is affected and determined by any combination of these elements.

So typically, they can sometimes have problems as a result. These may be minor, or significant and prominent displays, subject to situational stimulus… some things bring out the worst in people.

And these problems attract helpers.

So what type of help should be rendered? Is this a case of providing a fish or offering a lesson in the art of fishing?

The same basic principles apply.

Teaching awareness and guidance is a great first step. Independent and self-aware individuals might hopefully thrive from just this.

It is only the truly impaired that require more profound and continuous support.

And here is the mental health dilemma…

When is enough, enough? Are we sometimes in danger of overkill with excessive or protracted help; perhaps creating needless dependencies and providing crutches when we should not?

Must not the goal always be to establish self-sufficiency though awareness inherent in the support we provide?

Certainly, many people can benefit from the professional help provided by Mentors, Counsellors or Therapists. To some these services and support are essential.

But is strength, awareness and independence sometimes better fostered for the long-term by occasional influence, rather than prolonged exposure?

Are you reaching out and helping others? Is the way you lend assistance best suited to the recipient?

Is someone lending you a hand? Are you growing and becoming the self-sufficient individual you want to be?

Look at the help you both render and receive. Make sure things are on-track and thoughtfully aligned with the recipient’s best interests in mind.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.

I believe the most important skill we might possess is our Adaptability.

Everything moves on.

Humans evolved through being Hunter-Gatherers to Farmers, then to Consumers of produce into industrialized Participants. These are huge transitions and changes.

If we fail to Adapt, we miss the benefits of improvements that any change might bring.

It is essential we move on in practical matters that benefit everyday life.

The principal holds true for our physical well-being. New remedies, treatments and understanding constantly emerge; we should naturally embrace any true advantages we encounter.

And this equally applies to our mental health.

There is a constant barrage of change in our personal lives. People lose loved ones, gain others, both suffer and thrive. Change is simultaneously constant and transient.

Yet Adaptability varies by individual pre-disposition. And we are each uniquely defined in this regard by our genetic makeup, DNA, circumstance, experiences, position, culture and environment.

So, some individuals are considerably more able to ADAPT than others.

Failure to Adapt can result in outcomes ranging from Fortuitous to Inconsequential through to Catastrophically Fatal.

It is better we recognize a NEED for Change and rationally choose the level to which we respond.

Reacting prematurely or excessively can be as great a liability as a lack of awareness. Similarly, the opposite is true where Urgent Action is essential.

Some of us are good at recognizing warning signs. Others remain oblivious to the very same signals.

Certainly, more Introverted Individuals appear at greater risk than those who are Outwardly Focused on potentially threatening and changing external circumstances.

Both events and situation that should cause concern constantly surround us: we are inundated at Work, in the Home and our Private Lives. And this continues throughout our lifespan.

So, our Ability to Adapt may be critical, but this is of little use if our Sense of Urgency or Danger is weak or impaired. Thus, a keen awareness of this liability is usually an essential complement to Adaptability.

But again, being ABLE to ADAPT remains of paramount importance, even when we are slow to understand the NEED to do so.

Do you recognize the Changes currently occurring in your life? They are there; you only need look. Are events trending in a direction or at a rate that will cause you problems SOONER, or maybe LATER?

Change features in every aspect of our lives.

Take the trouble to Recognize, Consider and ADAPT. And, in an appropriately timely fashion.

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter@ianrmackintosh.