I believe Bad Behavior must always be addressed. Delays in redress should be as minimal as discretion and practicality allows.

So, what is bad behavior? For our purposes here it is actions or inactions that directly or indirectly impact the well-being of yourself or more commonly, others.

Bad behavior can be as small as a look, roll-of-the-eyes or malicious comment. It can be as extreme as criminal activity or even violence.

We see signs of these problems throughout our daily lives; from the workplace to the home and often in social settings.

When we ignore the hurtful or harmful doings of others we inadvertently condone. Such ignorance invariably acts as endorsement or reward, often causing the action to be repeated and worsen. In this way we become enablers.

Those who ignore are an integral part of the behavior.

Intriguingly, leaving matters unaddressed can itself be bad behavior. And of course, all bad behavior is based in insecurity. So, our own inactions say much about us as individuals.

Of course this doesn’t mean we should immediately jump on every minor incident we see or perceive. Sometimes, discretion truly is the better part of valor. But even then it’s always possible to discreetly enquire later about a troubling event and highlight a concern.

How we address behavioral issues can be a matter of opportunity. Some problems are immediate; an errant child might often be corrected quickly, yet an adult will usually respond better to a delayed, private discussion. Greater crimes demand more time and process, but even then the unacceptability of an action can be noted early on.

Why do we insert ourselves in the process of correction? As moral individuals we normally feel the need to both constructively teach/guide/mentor protagonists and protect current or potential victims. Also, it behooves us to establish acceptable norms and define the culture we endorse.

In the case of Justice Systems the goals are more centered on punishment and the suppression of recurrence. Even so, cultural norms are also inherently established through Law.

When I witness behavioral infractions (say) in the Workplace it’s easy to envision the offender in his/her past as a young child behaving badly and not receiving supportive and corrective guidance from an adult. Poor parenting abounds; the arguments are often that life moves quickly, time is scarce and so things get overlooked. Realistically, these are poor excuses.

In practice there is always time for correction and improvements, even if belatedly or later in life. And, if things are important, have future or long-term impacts, time should always be allotted.

As adults we do not live in cloistered, protected environments. Humans communicate and collide with one another all the time. They need the (largely learned) ability to directly defend themselves and take

proactive action. However, it’s generally less chaotic and more civilized for everyone concerned when the most moderate and reasonable actions possible are taken during personal interactions. Sadly, this is not always what happens.

So inevitably, behavioral problems occur frequently. And, as a result we need to address the protagonists and correct the behaviors. The most popular corrective process favored today is somewhat hands-off, less emotional and non-confrontational. For example, the individual addressing a problem behavior might say to an offender:

“When you did ABC it caused DEF as a result. It made me/us feel XYZ. I am disappointed, as you’re better than that.”

There are a great number of people (in business, social settings and private life) that follow and believe strongly in this type of approach. They report it’s highly effective and works wonders in correcting minor behavioral issues. Certainly it is quick and easy; in most all cases likely much better than inaction.

Sometimes we are fortunate (and unfortunate) enough to catch ourselves exhibiting behaviors the world would be better without. Just our awareness of this reality can move us productively along the traditional path of recognition, acceptance and then hopefully on through to appropriate correction. As a consequence, it’s often surprisingly informative to reflect upon our own actions with this in mind.

Now, are you seeing behaviors in others they’d be well-advised to cease? Know anyone who’d benefit from some guidance? Are you responsibly developing others by addressing their bad behavior?

Perhaps it’s time to become a little more active with your counselling. And, enhancing your own actions in this way will make you part of a solution, not the problem.