I was watching a televised football game over the weekend. Great friends, food and setting, but our team lost.

Wow, the emotions from individual attendees were really visible and raw. They ranged from early-onset anger and frustration, cynicism and bitterness to just plain old deep disappointment and let down. And the comments got really pointed and one eyed. Almost everyone was noticeably affected.

But this was just a football game. Now, flip the switch to the workplace.

Consider how much worse we feel and for how long when the problems strike us in the very place we invest most of our waking hours? And problems at work often seriously affect our very livelihood, motivation, mood and self-esteem.

After reflection I thought it useful to offer some valuable information I’ve unearthed about the impacts of different types of workplace setbacks. So, choose below from the range of related yet quite different issues you might need to address or review:

Controlling your emotions and actions.  Here’s great insight into how to manage stress and negative emotions when things go wrong.

Disappointment of a coworker’s promotion.  See how to suffer an apparent setback yet use it to learn and move on.

Managing your own expectations in the workplace. Here’s great guidance on how to review your expectations and see if they are setting you up for disappointment. This piece provides sound advice on managing your thoughts, emotions and hopes.

Managing conflict in the workplace.  Most conflict involving people centers about unfulfilled needs and disappointment. If you have people-problems in this area check this article.

Managing your own traumatic stress. If letdowns are huge or are the result of cumulative events, then you may need more serious self-reflection and recovery. In this case check these insights.

 

Here are some simple rules I recommend for dealing with unwanted emotions after a setback:

• Recognize what’s happening

Accept and realize your feelings are real and need attention. They must be professionally managed, by you, in the workplace.

 

• Put things in perspective

Almost whatever went wrong, it could have been worse. Even the most mortifying events have finite and limited consequences.

 

• Allow time to grieve/recover

Understand and accept you may need a little time to adjust and move on. Plan accordingly.

 

• Keep your thoughts private

By all means share and unburden yourself. It usually helps to express your frustration and disappointment. Do this with those you can trust privately and/or professionally. Don’t dwell incessantly on the problem.

 

• Let it out

Vent your frustrations away from work; perhaps use some physical activity or just scream in a reasonably soundproof location. Find a (non-threatening to others) way to vent.

 

• Seek out the positives

Above all else, make sure you systematically and unemotionally review the situation thoroughly:

Analyze what happened

Learn from the experience, and

Adjust as you move forward

 

Many people allow setbacks to consume them. It’s important to see them for what they are and yet understand how limited they should become in our future.

So don’t let that cancelled project or a missed promotion define who you are. Pick up the pieces, recover like a pro, learn and move on.

Had any workplace traumas in your recent past? Still dwelling on an event that should have long-ago been moved into your past?

Consider the advice offered above that best fits your situation; turn that bad experience into a positive opportunity to grow both personally and professionally!

 

Ian R. Mackintosh is the author of Empower Your Inner Manager Twitter @ianrmackintosh